Like in the last year "lately".
I have all these things to blog about all day long. Imaginary writings during the day that if someone would invent a damned app that would just auto fill this blog would leave you in awe of my amazing talent.
But when I sit in my chair, which is way too often nowdays, I don't accomplish anything.
Sometimes I'm working on this new "secondary" career so that I no longer spend months and months at someone else's beck and call and will allow us the freedom to winter far from this frozen hell.
Sometimes, I'm playing some idiotic game on my IPad that I would never admit to in real life.
Sometimes, well most times, I'm facebooking.
Which should bring me to the subject of how horrible it was to learn that two of my five readers have been Facebook friends and have left me out.
Ok. That's just a joke. I HATE Facebook drama and decided to poke fun at Dana and Coffey on her post about drama bloggers.
Which exhaustedly brings me around to my original intent.
I stay away from drama. My family doesn't do drama and I attempt, at nearly all costs to avoid it everywhere. Not always possible, but it's certainly better than it has been in years. And somehow tonight I fell. No, that's not right, I inserted myself into a situation on Facebook with a friend who posted his rant about a bumper sticker.
Now one would think from reading this blog o' mine that it was a political argument.
But I refrain from political discussions on Facebook. And I quickly unfriend anyone who feels it necessary on a daily basis to post cartoons or make comments about my political beliefs.
Anyway, here was the first part of the exchange.
This was written by a guy that grew up in my hometown and who, until recently shared many of the same beliefs as I. He has recently had some life changes and I have been sensing this "turning liberal" mantra coming from him.
"I have a rant (again) and well, quite frankly, it is sure to piss some of you off. And well, I'm sorry about that, but it will not change my attitude. I just saw a pickup truck with a bumper sticker that read "US Army, Vietnam Veteran, You NEVER welcomed us home"
First off, thank you for your service. I cannot express enough how much your service means to me as an American. But here's my issue. The Vietnam War was 40 years ago. The majority of the folks who never welcomed you home are either deceased or at the very least no longer a player in the public or private sectors. You will be the first one to tell a young black man that he needs to get over his ancestors being slaves because that is ancient history and we have made amends to them. Well sir, it's time for you to get over the fact that you were never welcomed home. Every President since Reagan has honored your service. Each one of them has done something to memorialize your service. Many memorials across this great country have been built to show you this generation does care and we do thank you. It's time for you to move past it and allow your heart to heal."
I read it earlier and started to dismiss it.
And yet tonight it really started to irk me.
And then I read what a friend of his wrote.
"Also the same ones that tell us to suck it up they faught real war...they aren't comparable really two very different animals...but both WAR, how does the type of fight entitle you to be "more" scarred. Dont get me wrong love and respect the road they paved for me, but like you didn't want judged don't judge us. We dont choose the WAR."
I thought about my response for a minute.
As I said, I don't do drama and I normally just ignore things that can get heated in a Facebook discussion.
But tonight I wasn't in that kind of mood. Maybe because I have respected this man up until this point. So I was honest. And I worded my response as I would any other good friend. If you're my friend and the time has come for real words, then expect them from me.
So I wrote the following.
"Ok. I am going to vehemently disagree with you here.
I don't know of any Nam Vets who take this attitude. None. All of them that I know have quietly lived their lives and never used Vietnam as an excuse.
What is happening now is that many are getting into their retirement years. And that leaves more time on their hands. Which means that they are just now experiencing a lot of the PTSD symptoms that they had suppressed up until now.
It may have been 40 years for you and I, but it's every night for some of these guys.
No one living today lived through slavery, so your comparison fails miserably.
Just getting over isn't so easy when you have spent your life trying to forget the bad memories and just when they should be able to relax and enjoy themselves, they are haunted by horrible nightmares.
And just so you know, none of those guys CHOSE WAR!
They were drafted. They didn't get a choice like today's vets got.
They were forced to fight by their own government.
And instead of hating America, they love it even more.
Much more that those of us able to bitch about a bumper sticker.
Because they watched their buddies die beside them on a horrible Christmas Eve in 1969. And they listened to the screams all night long and were unable to help them because of the incoming fire.
Most likely you saw a bumper sticker placed there by a spouse. Who knows full well the horror of that war. Because she's seen her husband suffer through the late onslaught of PTSD.
Enjoy your freedom."
Of course that set off a £!%#storm. Especially from the chick who thinks the Vietnam Vets chose the war they "faught" in.
A couple of women had lost brothers in Vietnam and they agreed with me.
The last straw was when my friend who posted the original rant came back on and said he had the utmost respect but I had missed the point.
Here's the great thing about Facebook. If someone is really starting to get on your nerves, there is about three keystrokes to delete them from your life.
And with that I was done.
However he must have noticed because within about 2 minutes he deleted the entire post.
Yeah, I certainly missed his point. And glad I did.
Posts
10 comments:
Rita! They've taken you to the dark side! See? It's hard to lie down and "take it" at times, especially when whatever it is has been shoved down your throat. And wait a minute....you read my blog and didn't comment? I unfriend you!!
Aw hell. I only use facebook to play games.
Can't you just see the $hitstorm and protest rallies if the draft was reinstated?
Dana, honey. You're losing your mind. You've already forgotten I listed a reply to Coffey's comment on your last post.
I warned you I was going to start a blog war over you two being Facebook friends. And then Ed came in and tried to blow my cover since we have been fb friends for awhile.
No worries. No one is taking to to the dark side.
But post something disrespectful about a soldier or cop and my blood will boil.
Hits too close to home for both.
I suppose the cops in Indy should just "get over" that one of their own was gunned down last week by a street thug whose family was later heard on the news saying that the cop should have stayed in his car since he knew the bastard had an assault rifle.
The entire city is up in arms over that statement. And pissed at Channel 8 for even giving the thug's family airtime.
Who is the soldier?
My friend who was in AF during Vietnam, flew 200 missions over Vietnam, reminded me at least weekly that he was spat upon as he got off the plane on returning to the US. He was bitter that people did not adore him then and now. Adulation by others was his goal. He would have put that bumper sticker on his car.
He is dead now. I have a post about him on my blog--Hoarding Killed My Best Friend. He like to talk about the Vietnam War and how the guys were disrespected at home. I was at the point of "get over it" after about six months of his whining. He was my best friend for over 20 years when he died in 2001.
I didn't "blow your cover".
As I recall I just wrote "Facebook?"
Linda. My husband has never understood the guys who came back and then let it ruin their lives. There are a few that wouldn't let it go, but most did. And what is sad is that guys like my husband find it harder to prove to the VA they were affected by the war because they went ahead and fought through the demons to make themselves a life.
Many docs are now understanding why they are seeing the Vietnam Vets as they age into more down time. That's when the memories start kicking in.
You loved your friend even through his issues. What got me upset about the Facebook post was telling the Vets they got recognition from a few Presidents so all should be good with them now.
My husband doesn't want a big parade and he doesn't complain that the guys are getting them now. But he DOES appreciate that friends and family make sure to call or text him in Veterans Day.
With each call, I can see it gives him just a bit of closure knowing that people recognize the sacrifice.
Vietnam seems unique. I wasn't there but have known and talked to many who were.
It was a war where America won all the battles but lost the war. That's got to be incredibly tough - total commitment, no reward there or coming back.
As far as the hippies and the no respect, I've heard some veterans I respect say about hanoi jane fonda for example, - well, she's an actress. As in Consider the source and let it go.
Finally, if America welcomed them back instead, would they feel any different about that war - really? I know it would be helpful to not have that extra bit of baggage, but it was still going to leave a lot of baggage. ?
Rita,
My friend's background has some bearing on his perception. He was an only child, spoiled rotten. He knew his cousins, four kids in the family, had less than he did and gloated and held it over them. He expected to get the best of everyone.
No one glorified him, and he resented it. I had a party/gathering of friends once a month for years. He was the life of the party and loved by all. He was so funny. He loved that very few men ever came and the women were all his...lol.
While he could be generous, he mostly was generous when people would know.
He became an alcoholic in the AF and would not go for treatment or meetings because, as he said, "I was not like those guys." He was exceptional, but not as exceptional as he thought!
He retired at 42 and never did anything but mow and eat. He never cleaned his house for the 18 years he lived there after his mother died. The 200 flights he flew had to have affected him. But, I think his personality and high expectations of honor and praise were most of the problem.
Rita,
Lots of people fight down demons from many circumstances. But, when people are older, I think it is harder for anyone, military or not, to hold it together.
Tell your husband I do appreciate what he did for our country. And, from personal experience, I understand holding it all together even after traumatic events. I just cannot imagine being in a war.
Facebook has become a 'clearing house' of sorts. I'm very surprised how people's deep-set views come out in response to simple posts and cartoons. I think that even though most there use 'real' names, the lack of face-to-face interaction keeps people from behaving respectfully. But I've blocked several because they go into full-on attack mode, instead of acting like civilized adults. I despise the 'if you don't feel like I do, then you're stupid' rants.
what a story. You did the right thing, Rita. Most of those Viet nam Vets love America in spite of spite of how they were treated and I believe that, today, most people respect and finally thank them.
Post a Comment