I'm getting better

Looking back on old pics my nephew is digging up, I wished it didn't take me 30 years to realize that I should have loved seeing some of these pics back then. 

Saw this one tonight, taken 3 1/2 years ago. 

Tonight I decided I really like this pic. Of both of us. 

Songs for Christmas

This is running through my head tonight. But my favorite Christmas song follows this one.

 

 

 

Who said I didn't decorate for Christmas?

Merry Christmas to one and all. 

And That's All I Have to Say About That

 

Those Three Little Words

Made me laugh. 

Ho Ho Ho

Or so it goes. 

I used to decorate for days on end. Loved Christmas time. Maybe it was because my mom had always made sure we had great Christmases when we were growing up. Even though she didn't really like Christmas, she used to make sure it was one time of year where we felt like anything was possible. 

Dad's birthday was Christmas Day and over the years, our Christmas become Christmas Eve night. Later years we would have some type of birthday for dad. I always thought he probably got cheated out of his birthday when he was a kid, but growing up in Newton Stewart, Indiana in the 30's and 40's in a house that had no running water and with at least nine living brothers and sisters probably didn't allow any birthday celebrations no matter when it might have fallen. 

Today I was upstairs in the office printing off a study guide for a real estate brokerage class when I looked into the desk drawer and found this picture. 

I have no idea why this picture wasn't in the big box where all the other printed pictures are, but there it was, reminding me of what I looked like when I was 32, freshly married and sitting with my gorgeously handsome new husband. 

A mix of emotions. This was our first married Christmas together. We had met in October the year before, engaged that next January and married in May. Yeah, it was one whirlwind episode.  I think about how little I knew about my husband. If I had known him longer I would have realized that making a decision, even a tiny one takes him forever. 

If I had known that, I would have been shocked that he was even considering getting married that quickly especially given that he had custody of his girls age 9 and 13.  Yet we both knew it was right. 

I had just built a small house for myself and had never considered that I would live there only 10 months before moving to the another side of Indy to start a new life. The Christmas before this picture he had given me a pretty diamond ring, not an engagement ring, but it was a pretty amazing gift given that we had only known each other three months. 

The events of the year between that first Christmas and this one was a bit overwhelming. 

This picture was taken at his sister's house during their family Christmas party. 

What I most remember is how hard to was to smile and make everyone believe it was a happy Christmas.  I remember leaving the room a few times to keep the tears at bay and the overwhelming despair. I didn't want everyone in my new family to think I was someone who was completely broken. 

When I look at this picture of these two young, in love people I think of one thing. 

My father was dying. 

He had about six weeks left to live. And I was fighting against all reason to convince myself he would beat the liver cancer. 

We spent one last Christmas with dad. 

And Christmas has never been the same.  I wish it was different. The combination of his Christmas birthday and those horrid last days during his last Christmas just won't allow me to go back to enjoying this time of year anymore. 

This post turned darker than what I intended. I have the best family I know and we do still enjoy our Christmas Eve, a tradition we refuse to give up no matter how massive our family grows.  It is THE Chrsitmas tradition that means the most. We don't sit around and mourn over the imaginary empty chair. We've grown past the grief, so please don't misinterpret this unexpected post simply because I saw a 22 year old picture today. 

It's the idea of feeling like this was taken yesterday and recognizing those young people and how quickly we have changed so much that our great niece had no clue who we were. 

When her mother showed her this pic tonight, she thought her favorite uncle Bob was "a young Santa". And so I had to be Mrs. Claus. At least that makes me smile. 

Not Hoosier Hospitality

Today, it was announced that this next Super Bowl at Jersey's Met Life Stadium would not allow any tailgating before or during the big game. 

Ironically, when Indy hosted the Super Bowl in 2012, a local reporter was broadcasting that morning with a group of tailgators from of all places, New Jersey. 

The group of visitors were lamenting the fact that they forgot to bring the hot sauce to their feast they were busy grilling. If they had left to get some, they would have missed their prime parking space they grabbed by coming very early that morning. 

When the reporter was back on the air in the same location only 30 minutes later, the Jersey guys were estatic. No fewer than five different Hoosiers had seen the report, jumped in the vehicles and drove downtown to bring these perfect strangers some hot sauce.  They couldn't imagine a town where  people displayed such hospitality to ordinary visitors. 

I wonder today if those Jersey guys were thinking about our hospitality when they discovered their own city won't even allow anyone to tailgate at their own Super Bowl. 

Jersey must be a bunch of losers. 

Pics of the week of tailgating and partying during Indy's Super Bowl Week. 

This is OUTSIDE on Georgia Street, weeklong concerts while they closed off several downtown streets.

 

Bet we get that Super Bowl selection again. There was not one bad review of our town's biggest party ever. 

You can only do so much when you have old people to work with

At least the black and white covers up a few of my wrinkles. 

If Only

We had leaders of integrity. 

Rest now, sir. Just rest. Your work is done.