You know what I mean, that women love to shop. It's the basis of nearly every male/female joke that you ever hear.
Ok, I'll admit it. I was born with a genetic shopping defect. I have had to spend my entire life living with the outcastedness of being shopping disabled. It's not that I don't love having new clothes, I do.
But.
I absolutely HATE to shop. I swear, I'd rather go to the dentist (which I also hate) than to have to go to one of those dreadful malls. Nothing bores me more. I don't even understand those poor husbands who are forced to be dragged along and dutifully follow their shopping addicted wives around the stores carrying the bags. I still remember watching the evening news one night on Black Friday and there was my own brother, laden with shopping bags, the most prominent one a BIG Victoria Secret bag. I mean, how embarrassing is that? Ok, I don't think he was embarrassed, but I know a bunch of men watching were cringing and being glad they weren't spotted by the dreaded Channel 13 camera.
I literally have to start getting embarrassed about the clothes I wear before I force myself to go shopping. It's even worse now that most of corporate America has gone corporate casual and many places allowing jeans every day. Years ago, I wore the suits and the cutsey little bow ties women wore in the eighties. The heels and hose. I had to shop more to keep the business look that was expected. I don't think any offices wear that stuff anymore except maybe law offices.
For a while one of my shopping sisters-in-law became my personal shopper. I loved it. She would show up with a bag full of new clothes and I would try them on and give her a check. The first person I would hire if I won the lottery would be a personal shopper. My other sister-in-law who also loves to shop has a stash of new stuff in her closet. I make sure when I visit that I carry the "wrong" purse for the season. Every time, she gives me "that look", goes to her closet and pulls out a still price-tagged purse. Works everytime.
I have a friend who has a map of every outlet mall in the US and her goal is to visit every single one, marking each one off as she goes.
Even my own husband likes to shop more than I do. A few years back we visited Key West along with my brother and his wife. Mark and I took a boat trip where he scuba dived and I snorkeled. You should have seen the look on the "captain's" face when I corrected him that we were not husband and wife, that Mark's wife and my husband were out shopping together.
Since I will be heading to Italy in just a few short weeks, I did force myself to spend an hour or so shopping last weekend for some clothes that wouldn't embarrass America while we are there. It was nice to wear something new to work, but I don't plan on repeating the process until these look ratty again, maybe in 3 or 4 years, I'm hoping.
One caveat. My shopping handicap does not extend to bookstores or kitchen supply stores. I can spend HOURS in either of those.
UPDATE: The picture below was added because someone who shall remain unnamed wanted to see the face of the woman in the above photo. Enjoy.
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