This man's speech said it all.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
How it Works
Let's say, you have been hired to do a job.
Your job is to process papers and move them to the next area.
Intuitively, you know that processing papers would obviously entail that you process them correctly before moving them to Next Area. You like your job, you are thorough, fast and accurate.
Along comes a great idea from Management. They want to incent you to do your job better and quicker.
So they devise a plan.
"If Mr/Ms Processor processes the paperwork and it averages that 95% of the paperwork arrives to Next Area within 3 days in any given month, that said Processor will recieve an additional bonus compensation payable on the 15th."
Everyone hails the Great Plan.
About three months into the Great Plan, something seemed to go wrong. The overall goal in the Great Plan by Management was to actually finalize the ENTIRE transaction sooner, not just Processor time.
But what happened? You could refer to it as the Great Unspoken Conspiracy Among Processors.
Mr/Ms Processor realized it didn't matter if Paperwork was complete or accurate or ready for Next Area. And there was no Penalty Clause in the Great Plan for having Paperwork returned to Processor because it was either not complete or accurate.
The days to finalize the transaction actually increased rather than decreased. And the Processor compensation not only did not suffer, but was rewarded.
Thus began what Big Bad Banking Company called enlightenment.
You Get What You Incent.
No quality standards within the Great Plan resulted in no quality.
This account is a true story. The names were changed to protect the innocent.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
When we were still only 48.
Who couldn't love Red Skelton?
I wish I had appreciated this time back "in the day". And I wish we could have entertainers like this again.
H/T to Beej.
Monday, September 21, 2009
SAFE
Joseph began his "career" as a clerk in a general store. Three years later, he and a friend purchased 30 acres of land. The purchase was what I guess you could call "profitable".
The next year Joseph and his partner started a dry goods store.
But Joseph had what no other merchant in town possessed.
A safe.
The other merchants began leaving their money in Joseph's safe. It became known as "the safest safe in town."
Twenty years later, he formally opened an official bank, in the middle of a Civil War.
Along the way, Joseph helped build toll roads, was a delegate to the Republican National Convention, and continued building several companies and routes from Indianapolis to Greenwood.
William G. Irwin, Joseph's son, after graduating from Butler University, began working as a cashier at Irwin Bank. Eventually Will succeeded his father as President of the bank.
He was rural farm boy and eventually was hired. As Will's driver and mechanic.
And you've likely heard of him although you may not know it.
While working for Will, he designed a new diesel engine. So much for formal education.
Hugh Miller was hired as the Assistant Cashier of Irwin Bank and must have presumably courted and married Will's niece, eventually he followed up by becoming the President of Irwin Bank. Their son, J.I. continued the family businesses and together with his sister set about making Columbus, Indiana a remarkable "small" town in the middle of nowhere.
In 1954, J.I. created Cummins Foundation and funded world reknown architecture in the small town by the likes of Eero Saarinen, Eliel Saarinen, I.M. Pei, Kevin Roche and Richard Meier. In Nov/Dec 2008's National Geographic Traveler's Magazine, Columbus was named 11th of 109 historic destinations.
Irwin Union Bank continued to grow. When banking laws were changed in Indiana to allow branches outside of contiguous counties, Irwin was the first bank to purchase a bank. Midwest National Bank had been a minority owned bank in downtown Indianapolis and was experiencing some difficulty. Irwin purchased the bank, eventually selling it to Huntington Bank. They also bought Inland Mortgage. The bank and holding company were innovative, growing, prospering. Inland Mortgage became very successful.
In 1990, J. I.'s son, Will became the Chairman and CEO of the bank holding company. Will had been on the bank's board since 1985. Becoming active in the management, Will did not immediately storm his way through the daily detail of actually running the company. Instead, he would sit in management meetings and committee meetings and take long notes. Some were impressed that he didn't waltz in the door and assume he knew how to manage the company on a day-to-day basis.
By the time J. I. and his wife passed away, they had amassed quite a fortune. The Miller House had become a museum of sorts, designed by Saarinen and contained a collection that ended up at the Christie's Auction in London.
A single Monet painting was sold in 2008 for 80 MILLION DOLLARS.
Last Friday night, a few people dressed in business suits walked in the door at 5:30 p.m. and forever closed the doors of Irwin Union Bank.
If you're looking for an evil villian here, I can't help you. There was no one looking to make a fortune. In case you missed it, the fortune had already been made.
Did they make mistakes? Of course.
Did they get involved with what is now considered "risky" real estate business? In hindsight, absolutely.
But, I'm sure there are more than a few tears in this non-sleepy little town of 40,000. It's not the end of a bank, it's the death of an era.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tiara World
When my niece asked me to be her Matron on Honor several years ago, I was more than a little stunned and thrilled. The thought still brings tears to my eyes.
The day she got married, she decided that all "the girls" in the wedding would have their hair done at a local beauty shop. It seemed like it took forever to get her style done. When it was about half way there, I was getting a little worried, it looked a bit odd, but by the time they were done it was absolutely beautiful.
My sister had made her veil and the beautician only had to put the tiara part in her hair and the rest could be attached at the church. So the bride and all the girls all walked back to the car. My niece was driving and since it was mid-day, we thought we would run through McDonald's drive through. The line was long, but we passed the time chit chatting like "girls" do right before a wedding. We finally made it up to order and then slowly poked along getting up to the window to pay.
My niece went to hand the lady the money and the lady said, "Oh, you don't owe anything." We were all confused. She said, "The car ahead of you already paid."
We see a white SUV pulling away. My niece says, "But we don't know them." "Well, they paid for your meal."
What a sweet memorable gesture. And now, several years later we still talk about how some wonderful stranger apparently saw "the bride" behind her in line and decided to give the bride an unexpected gift.
My niece said, "Cool, we should always wear tiaras."
Fast forward to a couple months ago.
My niece is in the middle of adopting two wonderfully sweet girls. The littlest one thinks she's a princess and wore a tiara during one of the visits to my sisters. When it had fallen off her head, I stuck it on mine. It didn't take long before I completely forgot about it. I usually stick my sunglasses on my head and it's really easy to forget.
Several hours later we were about to leave for a restaurant and someone mentioned my tiara. THANK GOD. Someone else said they should have just not mentioned it to me. Nice.
Then my niece related a recent story. She was at home and had also taken her new daughter's tiara and stuck it on her head, completely forgetting it was there.
Imagine what the neighbors thought.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I Love This Dad
What a CATCH! I just love the way he hugs his baby girl after she does the unthinkable.
Little Girl Tosses Back Foul Ball - Watch more Funny Videos
Little Girl Tosses Back Foul Ball - Watch more Funny Videos
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
No, This was NOT because I am Blonde.
When we first decided to join the church I referred to in my last post, they had a dinner one night at the church for the new members.
While few of our friends can believe it, Bob and I are actually still shy, especially when we are in a big crowd of people we don't really know. One on one, no one can detect it, but it's really difficult when we are invited to a group where we don't know anyone or only know a handful of people.
So we go to this dinner and just inside the front door was a table where we were to write out our names on nametags. Having to write a nametag evokes some bad demons on those of us that have that closet shyness that they desperately try to hide from everyone. It immediately signals that "fight or flight" syndrome meaning that to stay after that point will mean we actually have to speak and think of something to say
There were a couple dozen tables past that where we were to sit. As I was starting to fill out my nametag, Troy suddenly appeared and he and Bob were talking away.
I handed Bob the marker to write his name and he told me to just fill it out for him. He does that alot, so I didn't think much about it. I was listening to Bob and Troy and I began to fill out his nametag without actually paying much attention to what I was doing.
If you've ever had a little bit of shyness (which as I said, people find it really hard to believe either of us are now), you'll realize that you spend alot of time worrying about where you'll sit, who you will sit with, what you will say. It's silly, really. I compensate for it by trying my darndest to remember that everyone likes it if you just ask them questions about themselves and you just start a conversation.
It's still not something I like to do.
So, anyway. I'm listening to Bob and Troy and I'm wondering where we'll sit and if we'll just be out of place and etc, etc etc.
Then I hear Bob ask me slowly (and not exactly quietly), "W H A T
A R E Y O U D O I N G?" I'm confused by his question and then I look down at where he is looking, which is where I am writing his nametag.
I swear, I looked at my hand like it was an alien hand or possessed (which isn't a good thing in a church).
At the tips of my fingers was the nametag and a black marker with some weird hand that had just written:
G e o
and the possessed hand was just about to write an R. I was writing the name George on Bob's nametag. I'm pretty certain that my eyes bugged out of my head kinda like that Twilight Zone(movie) episode of the creature on the wing of the plane.
Let me be clear.
I really don't know a George. Well at least not for years and years. I don't work with a George, we have no George's in our family. I have no freakin' clue as to why my weird possessed hand was writing the name George.
We ended up sitting with Pastor Jesse and his wife for the dinner and we were to tell things about ourselves (which is also a horrible thing to have to do for us closet shy people). So I told the story about the George nametag. The quickest way for me to get over feeling awkward in front of people I don't know is to tell a ridiculous story about myself (you would think that would be the opposite, wouldn't you?)
So Pastor Jesse loved calling Bob George after that. It was one of the first times we had interacted alot with Pastor Jesse other than him welcoming us to the church every Sunday and it was quite an ice breaker. And since the story got around quickly, many people couldn't remember what his real name was.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
What Kind of Church?
Several years ago, Troy worked with my brothers and husband for a big retailer. We knew Troy was what some people would label, "Very Religious". All I knew was that he was part of a church that consisted of around 10 people who met in their houses.
And Troy was never pushy with his religious beliefs, he was just kind and wonderful to everyone, whether they followed his beliefs or not.
Troy and his fellow church members met for a few years and their membership of "whatever" church kept growing, eventually growing big enough that Troy quit his job with Big Retailer to become a Youth Minister of this church. I remember his going away party. It was heartfelt as Troy had touched all of the people he worked with, especially my husband.
About 17 years ago, Troy's Whatever Church outgrew their house meetings and began to look for a "real" building to meet. They prayed about finding a place and happened upon a strip mall that had some open space that was owned by "Locally Owned Big Grocer". They called Mr. Big Grocer's business and asked about leasing the space. Mr. Big Grocer's man said the rent would be $7,500. per month.
By then Whatever Church had a real name and their membership was growing, FAST. But this was a local community and that rent was not within reach, which they informed the owner's agent. The agent said he would check on something and get back with them. In the meantime, Troy and the other Pastors began to pray about what they should do. The members prayed about what they should do.
A few days later the agent called them and said that if they would pay the utilities for the property, they could occupy the empty space. Which they did. For FIFTEEN years, growing and growing all along. Taking up more and more of the retail space. All of which was rented by only paying the utilities.
We went to one of the services at the strip mall about 10 years ago, along with my brothers when we heard that Troy was going to be giving the sermon. It seemed to have a lot of life and a nice band and interestingly enough, it was not some weird religion that I had envisioned when I had heard of it years before.
We decided to go to the grand opening service.
What we found was amazing.
The lobby of the building was gorgeous and inviting. The "auditorium" had three huge video screens and soft comfortable seating. Having grown up Catholic, this was a far cry from the wooden benches and the punishing "kneelers" that were in the Catholic Churches in the 1960's.
The place was packed. We arrived early and found seats as more and more and more people entered. The auditorium will hold around 800 people and it was quickly filling up for the first service. We were greeted at our seats by a kindly old gentleman who introduced himself as Pastor Jesse.
He was making his rounds shaking hands, giving hugs and welcoming members and "Just Visitors" like us.
Suddenly we heard a familiar voice behind us looking for seats. It was Troy and his wife. We had not told them we were coming, and you could tell they were delighted to see us. Then everyone stood as the church band began.
We had never listened to contemporary Christian music and were amazed at how incredible the band sounded and the main singer blew us away. We were even more blown away when the music was done and the singer walked up to the microphone and began his message. He was not only the main singer, he was the Senior Pastor.
Within just a few months, we began the classes to become official members. The next August, they held the first baptism in "the pond" that was built outside. There were over 100 people that "got dunked" in the pond that day and we were among them, with Troy holding onto Bob as we went under.
He gave us both a big hug, while standing waist high in the water and finally said to me, "I have been praying about this for years." He never pushed his faith on anyone, but just quietly prays over those he loves.
I'm sure it was not even dreamed about when they started the church in their homes. But I'm glad they had a vision that I could not have fathomed.
So, I remember wondering, what kind of church has 10 people and meets in houses? Seemed really kinda weird at the time. But I knew Troy and he and his wife were very very nice people. So if they seemed to have a strange religion, who am I to judge.
And Troy was never pushy with his religious beliefs, he was just kind and wonderful to everyone, whether they followed his beliefs or not.
Troy and his fellow church members met for a few years and their membership of "whatever" church kept growing, eventually growing big enough that Troy quit his job with Big Retailer to become a Youth Minister of this church. I remember his going away party. It was heartfelt as Troy had touched all of the people he worked with, especially my husband.
About 17 years ago, Troy's Whatever Church outgrew their house meetings and began to look for a "real" building to meet. They prayed about finding a place and happened upon a strip mall that had some open space that was owned by "Locally Owned Big Grocer". They called Mr. Big Grocer's business and asked about leasing the space. Mr. Big Grocer's man said the rent would be $7,500. per month.
By then Whatever Church had a real name and their membership was growing, FAST. But this was a local community and that rent was not within reach, which they informed the owner's agent. The agent said he would check on something and get back with them. In the meantime, Troy and the other Pastors began to pray about what they should do. The members prayed about what they should do.
A few days later the agent called them and said that if they would pay the utilities for the property, they could occupy the empty space. Which they did. For FIFTEEN years, growing and growing all along. Taking up more and more of the retail space. All of which was rented by only paying the utilities.
We went to one of the services at the strip mall about 10 years ago, along with my brothers when we heard that Troy was going to be giving the sermon. It seemed to have a lot of life and a nice band and interestingly enough, it was not some weird religion that I had envisioned when I had heard of it years before.
Three years ago this church had been able to save enough from the free rent and the generous donations of their ordinary members to build their own church.
We decided to go to the grand opening service.
What we found was amazing.
The lobby of the building was gorgeous and inviting. The "auditorium" had three huge video screens and soft comfortable seating. Having grown up Catholic, this was a far cry from the wooden benches and the punishing "kneelers" that were in the Catholic Churches in the 1960's.
The place was packed. We arrived early and found seats as more and more and more people entered. The auditorium will hold around 800 people and it was quickly filling up for the first service. We were greeted at our seats by a kindly old gentleman who introduced himself as Pastor Jesse.
He was making his rounds shaking hands, giving hugs and welcoming members and "Just Visitors" like us.
Suddenly we heard a familiar voice behind us looking for seats. It was Troy and his wife. We had not told them we were coming, and you could tell they were delighted to see us. Then everyone stood as the church band began.
We had never listened to contemporary Christian music and were amazed at how incredible the band sounded and the main singer blew us away. We were even more blown away when the music was done and the singer walked up to the microphone and began his message. He was not only the main singer, he was the Senior Pastor.
We had gone out of curiosity. Pastor Mark began to talk what seemed like a message directed to us. The big screens showed a video that not only brought chills to my arms, but tears to my eyes. The next week would continue the series message and we were hooked.
Within just a few months, we began the classes to become official members. The next August, they held the first baptism in "the pond" that was built outside. There were over 100 people that "got dunked" in the pond that day and we were among them, with Troy holding onto Bob as we went under.
He gave us both a big hug, while standing waist high in the water and finally said to me, "I have been praying about this for years." He never pushed his faith on anyone, but just quietly prays over those he loves.
Sadly, last year, we lost Pastor Jesse. It left a big hole in our hearts and a loss we still feel every Sunday, not having him greet us with a big hug.
So Troy's "Whatever Church" was not some weird cultist backward church.
It was and is a simple "interdemonational" church who gear their message to the unchurched. They do not have saints attending on Sundays. They have just plain old ordinary sinners.
They don't offer judgment, and yet they do not sacrifice God's Word to appeal to the masses. They appeal to the masses by being simple true Christians. And "we" have now already outgrown this new huge building.
It was and is a simple "interdemonational" church who gear their message to the unchurched. They do not have saints attending on Sundays. They have just plain old ordinary sinners.
They don't offer judgment, and yet they do not sacrifice God's Word to appeal to the masses. They appeal to the masses by being simple true Christians. And "we" have now already outgrown this new huge building.
I'm sure it was not even dreamed about when they started the church in their homes. But I'm glad they had a vision that I could not have fathomed.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
God, I Just Have ONE Question.
Ok, that's not entirely true. I have alot of questions, but this one is on my mind tonight.
If heaven is better than the feeling of having two little arms wrapped around my heart, can we all just cut to the chase and get there already?
If heaven is better than the feeling of having two little arms wrapped around my heart, can we all just cut to the chase and get there already?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Gotta Love Those Family Get Together's
I love having family gatherings. It's so much fun! The following email was "stolen" from emailsfromcrazypeople.com.
THANK GOD, my family is not like this, but I know there are some out there that are close.
So I found an imaginary family holiday pic to go with the email from some psycho party planner.
From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully.
If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB—Dinner wine
The Mike B Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.
The Bob B Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).
The Lisa B Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).
The Michelle B Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife
The June D Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy M Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
HTML Hell
I write very specifically.
I know when I want to start a new paragraph for emphasis.
So why is it that Blogging For Idiots decides that my hitting the Enter key twice is NOT starting a new paragraph?
Or that hitting the Enter key twice require 20 freakin' spaces in the blog?
I do not write HTML. I really don't want to learn it even though I'm fairly technical.
But every stinkin' time I add a pic, Blog For Idiots messes up my paragraphical skills.
Finally tonight, I just got sick of it and did a quick google search.
UPDATE: Ooops, I forgot that if I typed the html code it would ACTUALLY put in a paragraph instead of the code. DUH.
< "P" > Without the spaces or quotation marks.
Duh.
Was that so freakin' hard? Really?
If I can do it, I know Blogging For Dummies site should be able to.
And to top it off? I was trying to put the < "P" > in the labels and it just told me that < "P" > was not allowed!!!
I know when I want to start a new paragraph for emphasis.
So why is it that Blogging For Idiots decides that my hitting the Enter key twice is NOT starting a new paragraph?
Or that hitting the Enter key twice require 20 freakin' spaces in the blog?
I do not write HTML. I really don't want to learn it even though I'm fairly technical.
But every stinkin' time I add a pic, Blog For Idiots messes up my paragraphical skills.
Finally tonight, I just got sick of it and did a quick google search.
UPDATE: Ooops, I forgot that if I typed the html code it would ACTUALLY put in a paragraph instead of the code. DUH.
< "P" > Without the spaces or quotation marks.
Duh.
Was that so freakin' hard? Really?
If I can do it, I know Blogging For Dummies site should be able to.
And to top it off? I was trying to put the < "P" > in the labels and it just told me that < "P" > was not allowed!!!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
Mom had an ancient old van that had traveled all over the country in it's day. May have been worth $500. It had gotten to the point where she was afraid to drive it anywhere far by herself and my brother had gotten a "wild hair" for her to get a new car.
By Friday of the first week, the small dealership where she bought it was suspending their program. They had over $50k in outstanding cash, even though they had made sure they followed every detail of the plan. There simply was no one to process all the claims and give the dealers their cash quickly.
She ended up getting an absolutely great deal, but she felt a little sad that the old van was going to be destroyed.
She got one of the first deals on the Cash For Clunkers and waltzed out of the dealership with a nifty Ford Focus.
I'll admit this was one idea that I first thought made sense. I could see that it got some people to buy new cars who weren't quite in the market yet, it generated a ton of business for the car dealerships, got more fuel efficient cars on the road and even made business for the junk yards.
By Friday of the first week, the small dealership where she bought it was suspending their program. They had over $50k in outstanding cash, even though they had made sure they followed every detail of the plan. There simply was no one to process all the claims and give the dealers their cash quickly.
What kills most small business is NOT a lack of profit, it's the lack of cash WHEN you need it. You can make a huge profit, but if you don't have the cash when it's due, you will fail.
Then I started feeling it at home.
You see, Bob has a little side business. He buys a few trade-ins and sells them retail. Most of the cars he sells will retail under $5k. You know, the kind most American's buy for their kids' first cars. You know, the kind of car that was being traded-in for the Cash For Clunkers deals. He knows alot of the dealers and car guys. They are all hurting. Badly.
The dealerships that were participating are out of cash, the people that need some cheap car for their kids or themselves cannot find any decent used cars and the small dealers who profit from the trade-ins now have no inventory.
But Mom sure looks good tooling around in her new Ford Focus and we don't have to worry so much about her being out on the road with unreliable transportation.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Bicycles and Sewing Machines
Imagine that you don't live in some comfortable suburb or city in America.
Imagine that you were born in a country with extreme poverty.
Imagine that your house looks like this:
Imagine that you are a young girl born into a family of 9 other children.
Imagine that your father has TB and your mother has no method of feeding the family today.
Now imagine you are the mother and you have no idea how you are going to feed your children TODAY, much less tomorrow or next week.
You are desperate. What would you do? How far would you go to be able to simply feed your family?
Then imagine that there is a way for your family to eat. There is quick cash to be had, enough to feed your family a long time.
Someone offers to buy something from you. The only valuable asset you own.
Your daughter.
Sitting in my lazy boy, watching TV, keeping out of the heat by running the air conditioning, it is SO incredibly easy to judge.
No way in hell, right?
But.....I know I have enough food in my house to eat for weeks if I had to. I don't have an entire family wondering how I will feed them.
I'd really like to judge a mother who would make that choice, but God knows I have absolutely no right to judge anyone. Well, EXCEPT for the evil one who wants to buy the girl and the even more evil pedophiles who will travel halfway around the world to have sex with a little girl.
My family's interest in Cambodia began just a few years ago when my nephew and some of his international friends decided to visit Thailand and Cambodia on vacation.
While the group was there, they pooled their money together and bought several supplies and toys and delivered them to a children's hospital. The Administrator was from Rhode Island and was extremely grateful for the badly needed supplies.
The next year I received a snail mail letter from a very good friend of mine who said she was going to Cambodia on a mission trip to visit a place called Rapha House.
Rapha House provides shelter for young girls who have been rescued from the perverted sex trade industry that is prevalent throughout Cambodia.
We, as a family, decided we would pull together some "loose change" to send along with Debbie and the group. I delivered $300 in cash to her just a couple days before she was leaving. She asked me what my family wanted her to do with it.
I told her that we were not putting any restrictions on the money. We trusted that God would direct her in how it should be spent. And that He did.
While there she was talking with Stephanie Freed, the Director of Rapha House along with the staff. They told her that education was difficult in Cambodia. Most young girls do not go on to the 8th grade. Not having been told that Debbie had some uncommitted cash along, Stephanie told Debbie that they teachers had been going through training about how to incent the young girls to continue their education.
Apparently having a bicycle is not only a means of transportation, but a status symbol. The training had discussed how using incentives could persuade some girls to continue on to the 8th grade. Rapha House had decided that they would promise the girls at the end of 7th grade they would be provided bicycles if they continued their education. Stephanie explained they didn't yet know how they would afford the bicycles, but that was the plan.
Debbie asked how many they needed. Five. Then she asked how much they cost. $50. Debbie looks over at her daughter who had accompanied on her trip. She thought, "Five bicycles and one to sit in the hall of Rapha House as a reminder for the next year's class."
It was then that she told Stephanie about the $300 in cash.
And so began what our family calls The Cambodia Bicycle Club.
After Debbie returned and told us about what became of our small contribution, we decided that we, as a family could easily support this on a continuing basis. So, whenever we get together, we have a small bag with a brass bicycle ornament where anyone can toss in some extra dollars throughout the year. The amounts really are very small and yet can make a big difference in the lives of a few girls each year.
Fast forward to a few months ago.
Debbie's husband, who swore he would never go on a mission trip felt called to go this year.
Again, we pooled our money together, separate from the Bicycle Club and sent Clint on his way with an extra $300 in cash.
There he met the mother I referred to above. It's a family at risk of feeling forced to sell their young daughter into the sex trade industry so the rest of the family could simply have food.
The host family he was staying with explained you cannot simply hand the family money. The real problem is the lack of ability to be able to support themselves.
As they say, "....Teach a man to fish..."
They explained that if the mother had access to a sewing machine, she could make a living and support her family.
Sewing machine. $250.
Supplies. $ 50.
So Clint knew exactly where the $300 was to go.
They bought the sewing machine, putting it in the host's family's house to keep it from being sold or stolen.
Here is the mother from the story above.
$300. That's all it was. $20 here and there out of our spare change while we sit in our comfortable houses.
We don't even notice the little bit of cash each of us contributed.
But someone in Cambodia does. One woman will be able to feed her family.
And at least one little girl won't be sold to the sex trade industry.
Imagine that you were born in a country with extreme poverty.
Imagine that your house looks like this:
Imagine that you are a young girl born into a family of 9 other children.
Imagine that your father has TB and your mother has no method of feeding the family today.
Now imagine you are the mother and you have no idea how you are going to feed your children TODAY, much less tomorrow or next week.
You are desperate. What would you do? How far would you go to be able to simply feed your family?
Then imagine that there is a way for your family to eat. There is quick cash to be had, enough to feed your family a long time.
Someone offers to buy something from you. The only valuable asset you own.
Your daughter.
Sitting in my lazy boy, watching TV, keeping out of the heat by running the air conditioning, it is SO incredibly easy to judge.
No way in hell, right?
But.....I know I have enough food in my house to eat for weeks if I had to. I don't have an entire family wondering how I will feed them.
I'd really like to judge a mother who would make that choice, but God knows I have absolutely no right to judge anyone. Well, EXCEPT for the evil one who wants to buy the girl and the even more evil pedophiles who will travel halfway around the world to have sex with a little girl.
My family's interest in Cambodia began just a few years ago when my nephew and some of his international friends decided to visit Thailand and Cambodia on vacation.
While the group was there, they pooled their money together and bought several supplies and toys and delivered them to a children's hospital. The Administrator was from Rhode Island and was extremely grateful for the badly needed supplies.
The next year I received a snail mail letter from a very good friend of mine who said she was going to Cambodia on a mission trip to visit a place called Rapha House.
Rapha House provides shelter for young girls who have been rescued from the perverted sex trade industry that is prevalent throughout Cambodia.
We, as a family, decided we would pull together some "loose change" to send along with Debbie and the group. I delivered $300 in cash to her just a couple days before she was leaving. She asked me what my family wanted her to do with it.
I told her that we were not putting any restrictions on the money. We trusted that God would direct her in how it should be spent. And that He did.
While there she was talking with Stephanie Freed, the Director of Rapha House along with the staff. They told her that education was difficult in Cambodia. Most young girls do not go on to the 8th grade. Not having been told that Debbie had some uncommitted cash along, Stephanie told Debbie that they teachers had been going through training about how to incent the young girls to continue their education.
Apparently having a bicycle is not only a means of transportation, but a status symbol. The training had discussed how using incentives could persuade some girls to continue on to the 8th grade. Rapha House had decided that they would promise the girls at the end of 7th grade they would be provided bicycles if they continued their education. Stephanie explained they didn't yet know how they would afford the bicycles, but that was the plan.
Debbie asked how many they needed. Five. Then she asked how much they cost. $50. Debbie looks over at her daughter who had accompanied on her trip. She thought, "Five bicycles and one to sit in the hall of Rapha House as a reminder for the next year's class."
It was then that she told Stephanie about the $300 in cash.
And so began what our family calls The Cambodia Bicycle Club.
After Debbie returned and told us about what became of our small contribution, we decided that we, as a family could easily support this on a continuing basis. So, whenever we get together, we have a small bag with a brass bicycle ornament where anyone can toss in some extra dollars throughout the year. The amounts really are very small and yet can make a big difference in the lives of a few girls each year.
Fast forward to a few months ago.
Debbie's husband, who swore he would never go on a mission trip felt called to go this year.
Again, we pooled our money together, separate from the Bicycle Club and sent Clint on his way with an extra $300 in cash.
There he met the mother I referred to above. It's a family at risk of feeling forced to sell their young daughter into the sex trade industry so the rest of the family could simply have food.
The host family he was staying with explained you cannot simply hand the family money. The real problem is the lack of ability to be able to support themselves.
As they say, "....Teach a man to fish..."
They explained that if the mother had access to a sewing machine, she could make a living and support her family.
Sewing machine. $250.
Supplies. $ 50.
So Clint knew exactly where the $300 was to go.
They bought the sewing machine, putting it in the host's family's house to keep it from being sold or stolen.
Here is the mother from the story above.
$300. That's all it was. $20 here and there out of our spare change while we sit in our comfortable houses.
We don't even notice the little bit of cash each of us contributed.
But someone in Cambodia does. One woman will be able to feed her family.
And at least one little girl won't be sold to the sex trade industry.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
My House is on Fire, But Don't Come Over
Last night, Mom calls my sister, who literally lives 90 seconds away."My house is on fire, but don't come over."
OK, who in their right mind would say, "Ok, talk to you later, mom."? Obviously my sister and brother-in-law went right over.
Mom was out on her large covered back porch when the lightning struck. Not realizing the roof/antenna was actually hit, mom was not aware the fire was smoldered in the attic for a few hours.
Luckily a neighbor noticed that her roof "looked hot" around 7 or so and went over to tell her.
Some electrical damage, carpet burnt where a hot outlet "popped out" of the socket and still assessing the damage to all of the electronics and appliances. House intact, as is Mom, thank God.
Yes, she was very lucky. That morning a guy I work with got a call that his house was on fire from lightning from the same storm, destroying the entire thing.
Crazy storms throughout Indiana yesterday.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Losing My Husband
We've been married 18 years.
And yet, in one short weekend he fell for another girl.
Oh, it was so obvious from the moment he saw her. No one could mistake that look.
She's used to wrapping men around her little finger. At first she tried to play hard to get. And she even started out getting me to participate in her little scheme of capturing my husband's heart.
She whispers in my ear, "Tell Michael I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners."
I was confused, there was no Michael (yet) in the house. I said, "Who's Michael?" She points her tiny fingers at Bob.
I said, "That's not Michael, that's your new Uncle Bobby."
She whispers again,, "Tell Uncle Bobby I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners." I told him, even though there were no vacuum cleaners in sight and I'm not sure why that tidbit was important.
Yes, he fell in love, actually with two girls. As did I.
I mean, do you know anyone who couldn't fall in love with this smile?
And yet, in one short weekend he fell for another girl.
Oh, it was so obvious from the moment he saw her. No one could mistake that look.
She's used to wrapping men around her little finger. At first she tried to play hard to get. And she even started out getting me to participate in her little scheme of capturing my husband's heart.
She whispers in my ear, "Tell Michael I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners."
I was confused, there was no Michael (yet) in the house. I said, "Who's Michael?" She points her tiny fingers at Bob.
I said, "That's not Michael, that's your new Uncle Bobby."
She whispers again,, "Tell Uncle Bobby I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners." I told him, even though there were no vacuum cleaners in sight and I'm not sure why that tidbit was important.
Yes, he fell in love, actually with two girls. As did I.
I mean, do you know anyone who couldn't fall in love with this smile?
Or these eyes?
Yeah, I lost my husband this weekend. Two sweet precious girls stole his heart away while I was distracted with them stealing mine.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Life is Good
Ahhhh, sitting here with the windows open. The smell of newly mown grass fills the air. Temps in the mid 70's, no humidity ( which is SO rare this time of year). Just had a wonderful dinner with my precious grandbabies. Can it get any better than this? I would never have guessed that it could.
A year and a half ago I was at a women's retreat and the one phrase that struck me through and through was this, "God can change the unchangeable." I wasn't sure about that then.
But I am now.
A year and a half ago I was at a women's retreat and the one phrase that struck me through and through was this, "God can change the unchangeable." I wasn't sure about that then.
But I am now.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I Know Someone Who's Been There
Yes, I do know someone who's been there.....and back again. His story left me with chills. I'll relate it another time.
And this one. For all those who are now experiencing painful painful grief.
And this one. For all those who are now experiencing painful painful grief.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A Special Kind of Stupid
Ok, you can call me heartless, but this was my first (and ultimately only) thought when I read this today:
A Swedish couple seeking the golden beaches of the Italian island of Capri were disappointed when their GPS navigation system led them 400 miles off course, landing them instead in the industrial northern town of Carpi.
"Capri is an island. They did not even wonder why they didn't cross any bridge or take any boat," said a bemused tourism official in Carpi.
Ummmm. They wanted to DRIVE from Venice to the Isle of Capri.
Now, maybe I just find this INcredible because of my recent trip to Italy, but wouldn't you at least think that maybe you would have a slight clue as to whether you COULD actually DRIVE to your destination?
OK, find Venice on the northern Adriatic sea side. See that small dot off of Naples? Just south of that is the Isle of Capri.
Carpi? Find Bologna (just south west of Venice) and then go north west.
Now granted, they were at least at some point heading in the direction of Capri and I'll concede that driving through Italy can be crazy.
BUT, 2 hours to get to Carpi and 7 hours to get to Naples?
OK, I either have to assume they are really really directionally challenged, or they are just free spirits who got in a car with a GPS and said, "HEY, let's just take a road trip, how about Capri?" Completely unplanned, never researched, never looking at a map of Italy.
Sounds really liberating being such free spirits. Either that or they are just plain stupid.
Ummm, sister-of-mine. Maybe you shouldn't read this post since you just followed me and Beej around wherever we led you. Even when we got turned around walking in Rome and you knew we were going in the wrong direction, but you just figured we knew where we were going.
A Swedish couple seeking the golden beaches of the Italian island of Capri were disappointed when their GPS navigation system led them 400 miles off course, landing them instead in the industrial northern town of Carpi.
"Capri is an island. They did not even wonder why they didn't cross any bridge or take any boat," said a bemused tourism official in Carpi.
Ummmm. They wanted to DRIVE from Venice to the Isle of Capri.
Now, maybe I just find this INcredible because of my recent trip to Italy, but wouldn't you at least think that maybe you would have a slight clue as to whether you COULD actually DRIVE to your destination?
OK, find Venice on the northern Adriatic sea side. See that small dot off of Naples? Just south of that is the Isle of Capri.
Carpi? Find Bologna (just south west of Venice) and then go north west.
Now granted, they were at least at some point heading in the direction of Capri and I'll concede that driving through Italy can be crazy.
BUT, 2 hours to get to Carpi and 7 hours to get to Naples?
OK, I either have to assume they are really really directionally challenged, or they are just free spirits who got in a car with a GPS and said, "HEY, let's just take a road trip, how about Capri?" Completely unplanned, never researched, never looking at a map of Italy.
Sounds really liberating being such free spirits. Either that or they are just plain stupid.
Ummm, sister-of-mine. Maybe you shouldn't read this post since you just followed me and Beej around wherever we led you. Even when we got turned around walking in Rome and you knew we were going in the wrong direction, but you just figured we knew where we were going.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
A Great Punch for the History Books
Give one from me Buzz! OH, this is NICE. Youtube must have deleted this video. Unbelievable!!!!!!
Well here's one they haven't yet removed. YET!
Well here's one they haven't yet removed. YET!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Backyard Menace
He glared at me.
I stood my ground. No, sorry about your luck bud, but you don't scare me.
Then he came even closer.
I said outloud, "Hey, I have a right to be here. This is my deck."
I swear I almost heard him say, "Yeah, but it's MY sky."
Touche.
I stood my ground. No, sorry about your luck bud, but you don't scare me.
Then he came even closer.
I said outloud, "Hey, I have a right to be here. This is my deck."
I swear I almost heard him say, "Yeah, but it's MY sky."
Touche.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Two Feet of Real Estate
I get up early on Saturday mornings to go to the local farmer's market. It used to have 20 or so stalls by all the local farmers. One couple always attracts a huge crowd because they grow Ambrosia. Never heard of it? Here it is:
OK, where's the butter? I'm sooo hungry now.
Of course it's too early for corn yet. It's been a cool spring and summer here and it's too early even for the tomatoes.
We lived on five acres growing up. Dad always planted a huge garden. Even though he hated tomatoes, he would begin planting dozens of tomato seeds every February. I never smell a tomato plant (yes they DO smell) without thinking about him. I've even considered a time or two about planting one by his grave, but the thought of digging in a graveyard is a little too Stephen King for me.
Beginning this time of year, we only had to step a few feet outside and bring in fresh corn, tomatoes, green beans, those nasty things we used to call mangoes, but are now considered to be green peppers. We may not have had alot growing up, but we ate well, especially in the summer.
Although my friends tell me I now live in the country, I know better. I live in a rural suburb where everyone has an acre or two. OK, there ARE cows behind us, but that still doesn't count.
I miss having a garden, but it's nice at least being able to buy locally grown fruits and vegetables. The farmers market was normally packed and you have to go right at the time they open or the best things will be gone.
Politics ended up getting in the middle of the market this year. Apparently the "downtown" restaurants began to complain because some began selling breads and homemade foods. So they ended up splitting the market. Most went to the fairgrounds, which allowed the food. So far only two have shown up in the downtown area and there is no crowd.
I spoke with the older couple that will sell the Ambrosia when it's ripe. Apparently they would have had to pay rent at the fairgrounds, a tidy sum. Hey, I'm gonna follow the Ambrosia guy, no matter where he goes.
I do have a bit of "land" where I can always grow tomatoes. It gets messy because Bob puts the tomato cages up in the attic and by the time he gets around to getting them for me, it's too late. Last weekend he said, "Oh yeah, I'll get those cages for you." I said, "Are you crazy? You can't put tomato cages on these things now." Although that is EXACTLY what he did to my poor tomato plants last year.
I didn't mention that Bob doesn't like tomatoes either, did I?
So, he grouses about the tomato plants because this is the BEST place they grow.
THIS is my two feet of gardening real estate. Guess he should have gotten the cages out when I asked, huh?
I decided to just plant cherry tomatoes this year. Every night I come home and there are just a handful that are ripe. When I was a kid, I would have just plopped them in my mouth out in the garden. Now, instead I wait until I've washed them off.
Which leads me to my "Bob's a City Slicker" story. About ten years ago, some of our neighbor friends lived around the corner and always had a huge garden. We had taken some plastic bags and I went to pick some green beans. I told Bob to get some of the corn a few rows over.
A couple minutes later he comes up and says, "I think something's wrong, this corn doesn't look right."
There he was, holding a pristine white-silked baby ear of corn.
I was appalled.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
He had picked the second ear on the stalk. How could he not know that? He seems to know how to do everything else, but getting around in a garden? Not so much.
I threw the tiny, wasted ear of corn down and said, "Get out of the garden, you City Slicker."
Geez.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
When Did This Happen?
Staying up too late again tonight.And in the middle of watching too much TV and reading too much online, there is Lee Majors. Remember him?
It was a Lee Majors Hearing Aid commercial. Let me tell you, if I could have found an accurate picture of him on the commercial I would have posted it. All I can say is the commercial makes the pic below look like it was taken 30 years ago.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
High School Reunions
I've only attended one. Don't ask me why I even went then.
I was incredibly shy when I was a kid and I had kept in touch with the only person from high school that I really wanted to, but for some strange reason when my 10 year reunion came around I decided to go.
I had long since shed my shyness, had plenty of friends and a fairly successful career. Maybe I just wanted to prove that, I don't know.
My best friend from school and I decided we would attend together without our (then) husbands. They would be bored anyway, so why drag them along.
So I figure we'll go, maybe meet up with a few old friends and have a good time.
But, the minute I walked in the door, some weird, unexplainable thing happened. The person I had become in the last ten years went "poof" and I was instantly transported back into the misery of high school. I had no clue what to say to anyone, I felt stupid, ugly and unpopular.
First off, they have name tags for each of us. AND, the tags included our high school senior picture. Let's put it this way, I didn't "peak" in the looks department when I was in high school. So, at 28, my senior picture was not something I wanted to wearing around on my chest all night. I found some kind of sticker and placed it directly over the picture leaving my name. I knew that some of my old friends would no longer recognize me, but they would remember my name.
Then I spotted a girl I recognized. In high school Shirley had the most unruly hair, thick glasses and if it was possible, was less popular than I was. I remembered her, I remembered being friendly to her when everyone else was really not very nice at all. Ten years later, she hadn't exactly turned from the ugly duckling into a swan, but she had controlled her hair a bit.
Now I expected the "popular" kids to ignore me, not know who I was and not care. But Shirley walks up with this haughty air about her. It was so obvious she was there to make a new impression on everyone and I suppose she was going to start with me. I said, "Hi Shirley." She looks down her nose at me, God knows why and checks out my name tag. I'm thinking, OK fine, we were never really friends, but honest to God, I was about the only person who spoke to this girl in high school.
With my picture covered, she repeats my full name, as if she was trying to recall who I was. I wasn't going to lose any sleep over Shirley not remembering me, so I just stood there looking at her. Then she repeats my name again.
And she says in the loftiest tone ever, "I don't remember you. What were you involved in?"
I had had enough. I looked straight at her and said, "Not a DAMNED thing" and walked off.
The rest of the night I met up with a few old friends and laughed to myself watching the fading popular kids trying to impress each other and people like Shirley still trying to impress everyone else.
Thank God the rest of life isn't like high school. People who know me now never believe I was shy. And I NEVER show them my senior picture.
And I've never felt the need to go to any reunion since. No one would know me anyway, including myself.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Whatever Grandma
I'm sure from the way I talk about my grandkids, most people would assume I'm a big pushover. So yeah, I let them play in the water or make a mess in the house or sometimes stay up later than they should, but that's the priviledge of being a grandparent, isn't it?
But I doubt my grandson would agree that I'm a pushover. I'm from the old school, so I was raised by being whacked a time or two by my parents and it didn't kill me. I knew not to push too many buttons, so I didn't get spanked very often. My brother Mark, well, he just wasn't smart enough to know when to shut up, so he may have a different opinion about the spanking thing than I do.
For the most part, when my grandson was a toddler, I could just tell him no and he was fine. When he was about 18 months old, he threw a tiny hissy fit and threw one of his John Deere toys. I decided it was time to try out the "time out" process. If it didn't work, I would know fairly quickly, but if it did work, that was even better.
We were in the garage with 47 toy John Deere tractors and trucks around us and I said something that must have made him mad. He picked up one of the trucks and threw it across the room. When I told him to pick it up, he just gave me a look.
Since we were in the garage and the corners were all packed I couldn't make him stand in the corner, I said, "OK, now you're going to have to stand by the wall." I picked him up and placed him within a foot of the only bare garage wall. At 18 months, he didn't get it at first. I stood behind him, so my legs could block him from walking away. When he realized he wasn't going anywhere and this "standing by the wall" was punishment he began to cry. It broke my heart, but I knew if we didn't start off establishing what was acceptable in our house and what wasn't, we'd be in big trouble later.
A couple minutes later, I lifted him up and hugged him and told him that we would not allow him to throw his toys. He held on to me for a while, then went over and picked up the toy.
So, we've rarely had to make him "stand by the wall" in the years since. He knows the rules. Shortly after that experiment, Bob was saying something silly to him. He rolled his head around and said in a funny deep voice, "Bop! You need to stand by the wall."
When he was about 3, he began to attend a day care. Until that time, he was watched by another grandmother and I got to watch him on Fridays. Within a short period of time I noticed he began to use a bit of snotty tone to his voice. Snotty tones are a pet peeve of mine and I was not happy to hear it coming from my sweet precious grandson.
I decided to wait until we were playing with his toys and we were just talking about things. Then I asked him if he knew what "tone of voice" meant. He was a sponge during these kinds of times when it appeared he was too deep in playing but I knew this was the best way to get my point across. So I asked him if he could tell the difference between when I said, "No." and when I said, "NNNNOOO" With the second No, he looked up at me very quickly. It got his attention. I said, "Did you tell the difference? Didn't it feel different to you by the way I said the same word?" He agreed. I told him that was called a "tone of voice" and by using a different tone, it leaves a different feeling. It was obvious he got it and I deliberately did not go ahead and bring up times when his tone was bad. I thought it best to wait until the next time and then remind him of our discussion. A time or two of that quelches alot of arguments.
It worked like a charm and years later still does. A few months back he didn't agree with what I had said and he had just the slightest aggravation to his voice. I just turned around to look at him. I didn't need to say anything. HE looked at me and smiled and said, "TONE". So he knew. I then laughed as did he. And there was no more tone to the discussion. It was nice that he recognized it right away.
But the biggie, at least to me was when he was around three. He was sitting at the bar in our kitchen and I was getting him something to eat. He wasn't being very cooperative and I called him on it, maybe I even threatened the "wall". His reaction surprised me. He cocked up his hand toward my face and said the dreaded word. "WHATEVER!" Ok, the one-two knockout of whatever plus the hand......
Oh no, that was simply not going to fly. He knew he had stepped over the line right away,, he hopped off the bar stool and went running. Luckily I was still able to catch up to him, while saying he was going to be standing by the wall. When I reached him, I picked him up by both arms and brought him up to my face and first said , "HEY" with TONE. He looked me in the face and he just burst out crying. He's not a cryer, so I know these are real tears. It was obvious to me that I was not going to accomplish anything at that time by making him doing the "dreaded" wall stance. He was crying like I had thrown him across the room. I just had to hug him. Tightly. Grandma caved, but I said, "Look, I love you, but you cannot talk to me like that. I don't talk to you like that, Papaw doesn't talk to you like that and we don't allow people here to talk like that." He hugged me tight and his crying began to stop. I gave him another "I Love You But" sentences and then we were off playing again.
It was funny from then on though. The "Whatever" had become such a part of his speech back then that even he didn't realize how often he would say it. For the next few hours he would start to say, "What...e.........are you doing?" Kids are pretty darn smart about what they can get away with and where. I don't think he's ever said "Whatever" to me since.
And so I have become a believer in the "standing by the wall" process. I doubt it works for all kids, but it's been easy with the grandkids.
Last month his little sister got her first experience of the standing by the wall. She threw chalk down in the garage. I told her that was not nice and to go pick it up. Well, she's her own child so she proceeded to stick out her lip, folded her arms and just stood there. I told her twice and then told her that she would have to stand by the wall. No change. It was a standoff. She's a bit more of her own personality than that of her brother. We don't have her as often as we did her brother, so maybe she thought I was a pushover.
I literally walked her over to the chalk and she still just kept her arms folded. I took her arm and moved it toward the chalk. NOPE, she deliberately left her hand in a fist. OK, garage wall here we come. She cried right away and I let her cry.
In the meantime her brother is dancing around like a Native American laughing at her standing by the wall. I warned him that he would be next if he didn't stop, but I stiffled a laugh at his antics. After a couple minutes I stooped by her and asked her to go pick up the chalk. Nope. OK, another couple minutes while her brother and I continued to play games in the garage, ignoring her crocodile tears. I said again, "Now are you ready to pick up the chalk?" "yes" So, over she went, picked up the chalk and we all went back to playing normally. She wasn't happy about not winning the standoff, but she was fine a minute or two later.
Honestly the chalk think wasn't a big deal, but I knew from her stance that she thought she would get away with anything at Grandma and Papaw's house and I felt it was time for her to learn that there are rules at our house and there are consequences when she breaks them.
I gotta tell you, it's easy when they visit. They don't question us when we tell them to do stuff. That's not to say they still aren't kids and they still don't pull our strings occasionally. We don't want Stepford kids after all. But we don't have a couple of bratty kids with nasty tones running the house when they are here. All four of us enjoy our time together since we don't have to spend our time now doling out punishment every 5 mintues and we're also not overrun by bratty kids to rule the house.
And as a side benefit, I use "TONE" at work. It's a joke of course, I explained it was what I said to my grandson and when someone's getting a little irritated having to explain something to me mostly as a joke, the "tone" drifts into the conversation. I just say "TONE" (which is now being picked up by everyone else directed back at me) and everyone laughs and it breaks the tension and gets the "toner" to readjust the discussion. I even had someone IM me "TONE" when I asked why they had done something. I IMexplained "WHY?" was tone, "why?" was not. It's quite entertaining to the entire group.
But I doubt my grandson would agree that I'm a pushover. I'm from the old school, so I was raised by being whacked a time or two by my parents and it didn't kill me. I knew not to push too many buttons, so I didn't get spanked very often. My brother Mark, well, he just wasn't smart enough to know when to shut up, so he may have a different opinion about the spanking thing than I do.
For the most part, when my grandson was a toddler, I could just tell him no and he was fine. When he was about 18 months old, he threw a tiny hissy fit and threw one of his John Deere toys. I decided it was time to try out the "time out" process. If it didn't work, I would know fairly quickly, but if it did work, that was even better.
We were in the garage with 47 toy John Deere tractors and trucks around us and I said something that must have made him mad. He picked up one of the trucks and threw it across the room. When I told him to pick it up, he just gave me a look.
Since we were in the garage and the corners were all packed I couldn't make him stand in the corner, I said, "OK, now you're going to have to stand by the wall." I picked him up and placed him within a foot of the only bare garage wall. At 18 months, he didn't get it at first. I stood behind him, so my legs could block him from walking away. When he realized he wasn't going anywhere and this "standing by the wall" was punishment he began to cry. It broke my heart, but I knew if we didn't start off establishing what was acceptable in our house and what wasn't, we'd be in big trouble later.
A couple minutes later, I lifted him up and hugged him and told him that we would not allow him to throw his toys. He held on to me for a while, then went over and picked up the toy.
So, we've rarely had to make him "stand by the wall" in the years since. He knows the rules. Shortly after that experiment, Bob was saying something silly to him. He rolled his head around and said in a funny deep voice, "Bop! You need to stand by the wall."
When he was about 3, he began to attend a day care. Until that time, he was watched by another grandmother and I got to watch him on Fridays. Within a short period of time I noticed he began to use a bit of snotty tone to his voice. Snotty tones are a pet peeve of mine and I was not happy to hear it coming from my sweet precious grandson.
I decided to wait until we were playing with his toys and we were just talking about things. Then I asked him if he knew what "tone of voice" meant. He was a sponge during these kinds of times when it appeared he was too deep in playing but I knew this was the best way to get my point across. So I asked him if he could tell the difference between when I said, "No." and when I said, "NNNNOOO" With the second No, he looked up at me very quickly. It got his attention. I said, "Did you tell the difference? Didn't it feel different to you by the way I said the same word?" He agreed. I told him that was called a "tone of voice" and by using a different tone, it leaves a different feeling. It was obvious he got it and I deliberately did not go ahead and bring up times when his tone was bad. I thought it best to wait until the next time and then remind him of our discussion. A time or two of that quelches alot of arguments.
It worked like a charm and years later still does. A few months back he didn't agree with what I had said and he had just the slightest aggravation to his voice. I just turned around to look at him. I didn't need to say anything. HE looked at me and smiled and said, "TONE". So he knew. I then laughed as did he. And there was no more tone to the discussion. It was nice that he recognized it right away.
But the biggie, at least to me was when he was around three. He was sitting at the bar in our kitchen and I was getting him something to eat. He wasn't being very cooperative and I called him on it, maybe I even threatened the "wall". His reaction surprised me. He cocked up his hand toward my face and said the dreaded word. "WHATEVER!" Ok, the one-two knockout of whatever plus the hand......
Oh no, that was simply not going to fly. He knew he had stepped over the line right away,, he hopped off the bar stool and went running. Luckily I was still able to catch up to him, while saying he was going to be standing by the wall. When I reached him, I picked him up by both arms and brought him up to my face and first said , "HEY" with TONE. He looked me in the face and he just burst out crying. He's not a cryer, so I know these are real tears. It was obvious to me that I was not going to accomplish anything at that time by making him doing the "dreaded" wall stance. He was crying like I had thrown him across the room. I just had to hug him. Tightly. Grandma caved, but I said, "Look, I love you, but you cannot talk to me like that. I don't talk to you like that, Papaw doesn't talk to you like that and we don't allow people here to talk like that." He hugged me tight and his crying began to stop. I gave him another "I Love You But" sentences and then we were off playing again.
It was funny from then on though. The "Whatever" had become such a part of his speech back then that even he didn't realize how often he would say it. For the next few hours he would start to say, "What...e.........are you doing?" Kids are pretty darn smart about what they can get away with and where. I don't think he's ever said "Whatever" to me since.
And so I have become a believer in the "standing by the wall" process. I doubt it works for all kids, but it's been easy with the grandkids.
Last month his little sister got her first experience of the standing by the wall. She threw chalk down in the garage. I told her that was not nice and to go pick it up. Well, she's her own child so she proceeded to stick out her lip, folded her arms and just stood there. I told her twice and then told her that she would have to stand by the wall. No change. It was a standoff. She's a bit more of her own personality than that of her brother. We don't have her as often as we did her brother, so maybe she thought I was a pushover.
I literally walked her over to the chalk and she still just kept her arms folded. I took her arm and moved it toward the chalk. NOPE, she deliberately left her hand in a fist. OK, garage wall here we come. She cried right away and I let her cry.
In the meantime her brother is dancing around like a Native American laughing at her standing by the wall. I warned him that he would be next if he didn't stop, but I stiffled a laugh at his antics. After a couple minutes I stooped by her and asked her to go pick up the chalk. Nope. OK, another couple minutes while her brother and I continued to play games in the garage, ignoring her crocodile tears. I said again, "Now are you ready to pick up the chalk?" "yes" So, over she went, picked up the chalk and we all went back to playing normally. She wasn't happy about not winning the standoff, but she was fine a minute or two later.
Honestly the chalk think wasn't a big deal, but I knew from her stance that she thought she would get away with anything at Grandma and Papaw's house and I felt it was time for her to learn that there are rules at our house and there are consequences when she breaks them.
I gotta tell you, it's easy when they visit. They don't question us when we tell them to do stuff. That's not to say they still aren't kids and they still don't pull our strings occasionally. We don't want Stepford kids after all. But we don't have a couple of bratty kids with nasty tones running the house when they are here. All four of us enjoy our time together since we don't have to spend our time now doling out punishment every 5 mintues and we're also not overrun by bratty kids to rule the house.
And as a side benefit, I use "TONE" at work. It's a joke of course, I explained it was what I said to my grandson and when someone's getting a little irritated having to explain something to me mostly as a joke, the "tone" drifts into the conversation. I just say "TONE" (which is now being picked up by everyone else directed back at me) and everyone laughs and it breaks the tension and gets the "toner" to readjust the discussion. I even had someone IM me "TONE" when I asked why they had done something. I IMexplained "WHY?" was tone, "why?" was not. It's quite entertaining to the entire group.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
How many do you remember?
Chalk Boards
Mimeograph
Three Channels
Jiffy Pop
Mr. Misty's
Adding Machines
Carbon Paper
White Out
TelStar
Sputnik
1968 assassinations
Hot Wheels Tracks
Real doctor's house calls
Home Ec
Workshop
KoolAid
Jump Rope
Hop Scotch
Dirt Clods
Movie Cameras
Brownie Cameras
Popping the bubbles in the hot asphalt with your bike tires.
Kick The Can
Crack the Whip
Paper Dolls
Green Ghost Game
Johnny Quest Game
Mr. Potato Head
Silly Putty
Etch a Sketch
Transistor Radios
AM Stations
Lost in Space
Car 54 Where are You
Branded
Betsy McCall
Sparkledy Paints
Perry Mason
Alfred Hitchcock
Lindner's Ice Cream - Hmmm, Hot Fudge Pecan Ball
Jerry's Restaurant
Jump Ropes
The Beehive
Pete Steffey's
Effie's
Moon Walk - NOT Michael Jackson's
Tilt a Whirl
Detasselling corn
Bailin' hay
Mini Bikes
Sloppin' the hogs
Stokin' the coal furnace
Hippy Vans
VW Beatle
Kent State
Sea Monkeys
Hula Hoops
Francie Dolls legs bend
headlight buttons on the floor
push button transmissions
6 pack decorations
swag lamps
perculators
Lilies of the Field
Room 222
That Darned Cat
The Flying Nun
metal ring horns on the steering wheel
lightning bugs
Console TVs
Black and White TV
Twiggy
Mod Squad
Pixie Cut hairdos
Clip on earrings
Cracker Jack prizes
Chocola
Pixie Stix
jacks
Magic Rocks
Nutter Butter
Tang
Peanut Butter and Marshmellow Cream
Manual typewriters with a carriage return bar
Glass Milk Jugs delivered by the Milk Man, packed in ice in the summer
Wood panelled walls
Cardboard fireplaces for Christmas
Real lead icycles for Christmas
Playing in the sprinkler on hot summer days
Snapping bushels of fresh green beans under a shade tree
Finding bushels of morel mushrooms in May
Laying in the back window of the car on road trips
American Bandstand
Haley Mills
Mr. French
Paul Dixon
Ruth Lyons
Party line phones
Falstaff
Double Cola
That Was the House That Jack Built
Mimeograph
Three Channels
Jiffy Pop
Mr. Misty's
Adding Machines
Carbon Paper
White Out
TelStar
Sputnik
1968 assassinations
Hot Wheels Tracks
Real doctor's house calls
Home Ec
Workshop
KoolAid
Jump Rope
Hop Scotch
Dirt Clods
Movie Cameras
Brownie Cameras
Popping the bubbles in the hot asphalt with your bike tires.
Kick The Can
Crack the Whip
Paper Dolls
Green Ghost Game
Johnny Quest Game
Mr. Potato Head
Silly Putty
Etch a Sketch
Transistor Radios
AM Stations
Lost in Space
Car 54 Where are You
Branded
Betsy McCall
Sparkledy Paints
Perry Mason
Alfred Hitchcock
Lindner's Ice Cream - Hmmm, Hot Fudge Pecan Ball
Jerry's Restaurant
Jump Ropes
The Beehive
Pete Steffey's
Effie's
Moon Walk - NOT Michael Jackson's
Tilt a Whirl
Detasselling corn
Bailin' hay
Mini Bikes
Sloppin' the hogs
Stokin' the coal furnace
Hippy Vans
VW Beatle
Kent State
Sea Monkeys
Hula Hoops
Francie Dolls legs bend
headlight buttons on the floor
push button transmissions
6 pack decorations
swag lamps
perculators
Lilies of the Field
Room 222
That Darned Cat
The Flying Nun
metal ring horns on the steering wheel
lightning bugs
Console TVs
Black and White TV
Twiggy
Mod Squad
Pixie Cut hairdos
Clip on earrings
Cracker Jack prizes
Chocola
Pixie Stix
jacks
Magic Rocks
Nutter Butter
Tang
Peanut Butter and Marshmellow Cream
Manual typewriters with a carriage return bar
Glass Milk Jugs delivered by the Milk Man, packed in ice in the summer
Wood panelled walls
Cardboard fireplaces for Christmas
Real lead icycles for Christmas
Playing in the sprinkler on hot summer days
Snapping bushels of fresh green beans under a shade tree
Finding bushels of morel mushrooms in May
Laying in the back window of the car on road trips
American Bandstand
Haley Mills
Mr. French
Paul Dixon
Ruth Lyons
Party line phones
Falstaff
Double Cola
That Was the House That Jack Built
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Farm Life
Just a short few years back, some little boy I'm related to (and won't name names) drew this for his class. And no, it was not my grandson.
This little guy is smart and his family farms (obvious from the picture). His mother posted this on our family website with the description:
I about CRIED with PRIDE when he brought this home from school today. It is supposed to read, "A cow standing on another cow's back." I just hope his teacher remembers this picture for parent-teacher conferences!
His aunt added this as a comment:
OH MY GOD!!! He told me about this the other day when I picked him up. I was trying to figure out what he was trying to tell me. He just kept saying that this kid in his class told him that it wasn't possible for a cow to stand on another cows back. And he told the kid it was possible and that he saw a cow on another cows back before!!! I was kinda cracking up then, but then he said "... what would you say if I told you that a cow can stand on another cows back whould you believe me?" I was just trying so hard not to laugh and I said yes I would believe you. I had no idea he was going to draw a picture of it!!!!!:-O
I dredged this story up again tonight because I needed a good laugh. How 'bout you?
This little guy is smart and his family farms (obvious from the picture). His mother posted this on our family website with the description:
I about CRIED with PRIDE when he brought this home from school today. It is supposed to read, "A cow standing on another cow's back." I just hope his teacher remembers this picture for parent-teacher conferences!
His aunt added this as a comment:OH MY GOD!!! He told me about this the other day when I picked him up. I was trying to figure out what he was trying to tell me. He just kept saying that this kid in his class told him that it wasn't possible for a cow to stand on another cows back. And he told the kid it was possible and that he saw a cow on another cows back before!!! I was kinda cracking up then, but then he said "... what would you say if I told you that a cow can stand on another cows back whould you believe me?" I was just trying so hard not to laugh and I said yes I would believe you. I had no idea he was going to draw a picture of it!!!!!:-O
I dredged this story up again tonight because I needed a good laugh. How 'bout you?
A Feel Good Movie
I few years back we joined one of those DVD clubs. We don't buy alot, just enough to get the 5 or 6 for a penny and then enough to fulfull the obligation and then quit.
Anyway, I had ordered several movies. One that got good reviews and had one of the most amazing kid actors and was recommended by my sister.
I put the DVD in and Bob asks, "What kind of movie is this?"
I said, "I don't know, I think it's one of those 'feel good' movies."
It caught our interest right away.
Excellent movie.
But.
Feel good?
By the end I was literally sobbing out loud like a little girl.
One of best movies ever, but Pay It Forward is NOT a feel good movie. But then again, I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a movie that makes me cry. 
Wait. I have to stop now. It's on TV now and I need to find a heavy duty Kleenex.
Friday, June 26, 2009
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