Over and over.
I'm surprised we didn't end up with splinters that would have been hard to explain.
While few of our friends can believe it, Bob and I are actually still shy, especially when we are in a big crowd of people we don't really know. One on one, no one can detect it, but it's really difficult when we are invited to a group where we don't know anyone or only know a handful of people.
So we go to this dinner and just inside the front door was a table where we were to write out our names on nametags. Having to write a nametag evokes some bad demons on those of us that have that closet shyness that they desperately try to hide from everyone. It immediately signals that "fight or flight" syndrome meaning that to stay after that point will mean we actually have to speak and think of something to say
There were a couple dozen tables past that where we were to sit. As I was starting to fill out my nametag, Troy suddenly appeared and he and Bob were talking away.
If you've ever had a little bit of shyness (which as I said, people find it really hard to believe either of us are now), you'll realize that you spend alot of time worrying about where you'll sit, who you will sit with, what you will say. It's silly, really. I compensate for it by trying my darndest to remember that everyone likes it if you just ask them questions about themselves and you just start a conversation.
So, anyway. I'm listening to Bob and Troy and I'm wondering where we'll sit and if we'll just be out of place and etc, etc etc.
Then I hear Bob ask me slowly (and not exactly quietly), "W H A T
A R E Y O U D O I N G?" I'm confused by his question and then I look down at where he is looking, which is where I am writing his nametag.
I swear, I looked at my hand like it was an alien hand or possessed (which isn't a good thing in a church).
Let me be clear.
I really don't know a George. Well at least not for years and years. I don't work with a George, we have no George's in our family. I have no freakin' clue as to why my weird possessed hand was writing the name George.
We ended up sitting with Pastor Jesse and his wife for the dinner and we were to tell things about ourselves (which is also a horrible thing to have to do for us closet shy people). So I told the story about the George nametag. The quickest way for me to get over feeling awkward in front of people I don't know is to tell a ridiculous story about myself (you would think that would be the opposite, wouldn't you?)
So Pastor Jesse loved calling Bob George after that. It was one of the first times we had interacted alot with Pastor Jesse other than him welcoming us to the church every Sunday and it was quite an ice breaker. And since the story got around quickly, many people couldn't remember what his real name was.
THANK GOD, my family is not like this, but I know there are some out there that are close.
So I found an imaginary family holiday pic to go with the email from some psycho party planner.

From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully.
If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB—Dinner wine
The Mike B Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.
The Bob B Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).
The Lisa B Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).
The Michelle B Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife
The June D Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy M Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney

The dealerships that were participating are out of cash, the people that need some cheap car for their kids or themselves cannot find any decent used cars and the small dealers who profit from the trade-ins now have no inventory.



Last night, Mom calls my sister, who literally lives 90 seconds away.
Or these eyes?
Yeah, I lost my husband this weekend. Two sweet precious girls stole his heart away while I was distracted with them stealing mine.


OK, where's the butter? I'm sooo hungry now.
Of course it's too early for corn yet. It's been a cool spring and summer here and it's too early even for the tomatoes.
We lived on five acres growing up. Dad always planted a huge garden. Even though he hated tomatoes, he would begin planting dozens of tomato seeds every February. I never smell a tomato plant (yes they DO smell) without thinking about him. I've even considered a time or two about planting one by his grave, but the thought of digging in a graveyard is a little too Stephen King for me.
Beginning this time of year, we only had to step a few feet outside and bring in fresh corn, tomatoes, green beans, those nasty things we used to call mangoes, but are now considered to be green peppers. We may not have had alot growing up, but we ate well, especially in the summer.
Although my friends tell me I now live in the country, I know better. I live in a rural suburb where everyone has an acre or two. OK, there ARE cows behind us, but that still doesn't count.
I miss having a garden, but it's nice at least being able to buy locally grown fruits and vegetables. The farmers market was normally packed and you have to go right at the time they open or the best things will be gone.
Politics ended up getting in the middle of the market this year. Apparently the "downtown" restaurants began to complain because some began selling breads and homemade foods. So they ended up splitting the market. Most went to the fairgrounds, which allowed the food. So far only two have shown up in the downtown area and there is no crowd.
I spoke with the older couple that will sell the Ambrosia when it's ripe. Apparently they would have had to pay rent at the fairgrounds, a tidy sum. Hey, I'm gonna follow the Ambrosia guy, no matter where he goes.
I do have a bit of "land" where I can always grow tomatoes. It gets messy because Bob puts the tomato cages up in the attic and by the time he gets around to getting them for me, it's too late. Last weekend he said, "Oh yeah, I'll get those cages for you." I said, "Are you crazy? You can't put tomato cages on these things now." Although that is EXACTLY what he did to my poor tomato plants last year.
I didn't mention that Bob doesn't like tomatoes either, did I?
So, he grouses about the tomato plants because this is the BEST place they grow.
THIS is my two feet of gardening real estate. Guess he should have gotten the cages out when I asked, huh?
I decided to just plant cherry tomatoes this year. Every night I come home and there are just a handful that are ripe. When I was a kid, I would have just plopped them in my mouth out in the garden. Now, instead I wait until I've washed them off.
Which leads me to my "Bob's a City Slicker" story. About ten years ago, some of our neighbor friends lived around the corner and always had a huge garden. We had taken some plastic bags and I went to pick some green beans. I told Bob to get some of the corn a few rows over.
A couple minutes later he comes up and says, "I think something's wrong, this corn doesn't look right."
There he was, holding a pristine white-silked baby ear of corn.
I was appalled.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
He had picked the second ear on the stalk. How could he not know that? He seems to know how to do everything else, but getting around in a garden? Not so much.
I threw the tiny, wasted ear of corn down and said, "Get out of the garden, you City Slicker."
Geez.
Staying up too late again tonight.

