I'm Comin' Elizabeth

Acrophobia and gephyrophobia. This is my diagnosis of my brother Mike. And it is not within my means of comprehension

My first awareness of his fear was when I was probably 5 or younger. My Aunt Rita took Helen, Mark and me up a small old-time fire watch tower. I can still remember looking down at Mike and Mom (who also doesn't like heights) and I could not understand why they wouldn't come up with us.

Over the years either I've become more aware of Mike's fears or they have gotten worse.

Never heard of gephyrophobia? It's simply just a fear of bridges. Mike has always been known in the family as being a very good driver and could drive around the world, if only he does not have to cross a bridge. So, assuming they ever build a road between here and oh say, Europe, I'm pretty certain there would need to be a bridge. Forget it. He's told tales before of having to cross the "dreaded" bridge between here and Kentucky and practically closing his eyes while driving.

I just don't get it. I love going over that bridge, there is so much to see.

Mike's fears don't bother me, it's just part of who he is and to a much lesser degree of who my mother is. But a few years back I could have throttled him over his fears.

Both Helen and Mike were born in San Francisco. My father was stationed there right after they were married and they drove back home for good when Mike was 6 weeks old and Helen was almost a year and a half. So San Francisco has always held a special place in my family.

Sadly we, as a family never got back there until after dad's death in 1992. Several years ago, Mom, Helen's family and Mike and his wife decided to travel out west by car and go through San Francisco. I, being the smart one of the family, decided I would fly out to San Fran when they got there and fly back when they left. I saw no point in spending over 2 weeks riding in a car wasting precious time, especially between Indiana and Texas. Not a whole heck of a lot to see. A 3 or so hour flight and I arrived in San Francisco airport on a Friday where they all met me.

We all spent the weekend seeing how beautiful San Francisco is. I honestly have never seen such a beautiful city. It was gorgeous. My mom had talked for years about how foggy and gloomy it was. Once there I told her that Indiana has fog, San Francisco has VERY low clouds. I will never forget standing at the edge of the bay where Presidio base used to be and being totally in awe, especially when the fog horns blasted.

On Saturday we finally got to see the famous Golden Gate Bridge. I was determined I wanted to walk all the way across the 2 1/2 mile span. Mike drove the van to take us to the edge. We all started across and Mike started to walk behind us. I'm looking at him like he's nuts. What is he doing?

Heights and bridges. OK, what about this makes him think he wants to follow us?



This is Mike doing his Fred Sanford imitation.

Now Mom has a slight fear of heights and she only has bad dreams of bridges, not a real fear of them. So she's along with us.

I cannot tell you how absolutely gorgeous the view walking along the bridge is. It's a very close second to being at the edge of the Grand Canyon. We are walking along and Mike keeps coming. But he's walking a bit more slowly and not exactly in a straight line.

I told him, "Mike, go back. We're going across." He kept saying, "I'm ok." No. He really wasn't. We were not hurrying, walking in and out of the support beams that were massive, gawking at the beautiful sailboats all along San Francisco Bay. It was breathtaking.

Knowing that my immediate family was started in the great city, I even peeled off some of the Golden Gate paint. By the way, the color is not gold, it's more of a burnt orange.

Michael would not stop following us, but I watched as it seemed the farther we got (which wasn't far), the shorter he became. Literally, you could almost see his legs wobble back and forth like a cartoon character. And he would NOT go back as long as we were walking. I repeated a thousand times, "MIKE, go back, we will go across and come back." He simply wouldn't do it. I suppose he might have been been afraid that WE would fall off the side. I don't know. He said later he was afraid we would get to the other side and not get back. This was before everyone had a cell phone, but STILL, would we not be competent enough to grab a cab and take us back should someone not be able to walk back?

I finally could not stand it anymore. Not even 1/4 of the way across I just gave up. We all turned around and walked back. By then Mike was probably 5 feet tall because his knees had all but buckled.

I so regretted not getting to walk all the way across.

Luck was with me though. The very next year, my company sent me back to San Francisco for training. Because Bob could not go, I asked Mom if she wanted to go with me.

After walking our legs off one day through Fisherman's Wharf, we walked our way to the Golden Gate (not within walking distance) and then we started across.

It was worth the wait. Unbelievable. Beautiful, Breathtaking. There aren't enough words.

If you are lucky enough to visit San Fran. Walk the 5 miles roundtrip over the Golden Gate. You won't ever regret it.