Exotic Cuisine

A free trip to Hollywood. We won the trip right after we were first married. I had thought it was a hoax at first, but it wasn't. Three nights at a nice hotel, two airline tickets, $300 cash for spending and a visit to Paramount Studios, not a public tour, but a private one with 5 other couples. The trip was sponsored by the movie "Soap" and the show "All My Children".

It was at the height of Cheers' popularity and we were allowed to tour the set while the stand-ins practiced the camera shots. Lillith was sitting in a corner booth studying her lines. We saw Kirstie Alley in an alley (hah). She tried to duck as she could see some gawking tourists. As did Frazier. He's a big guy and that was just a few weeks after he was out of rehab.

Unfortunately Bob had developed a cold right before we left. He wasn't feeling well, but was a trooper all day. He was still his silly self, saying he would see some celebrity or another if they at all resembled anyone, even when he knew it wasn't true. We were sitting on the curb towards the end of the day and I went to the restroom. When I came back he said, "I just saw Sam Malone." OK, sure you did. Again, he was doing this all day. He said, "No, I really saw him, he walked right past me while you were gone." "Sure Bob." Then he said, " I really saw him. He's bald in the back." THEN I believed him. I had heard that Ted Danson was balding in back and that he wore a rug on the set and I knew Bob would not have known that without actually seeing him.

Towards the end of the day, Bob just really wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. He hadn't eaten much all day. But the tour guide said, "Well, if you guys want to, you can go see the Tonight Show. Johnny's on vacation right now, so Jay Leno's filling in for him." I had been to a Johnny Carson show in high school and I just didn't find Leno that funny, so we were thinking we wouldn't go. Then he said that Randy Travis was a guest. Randy? Oh yeah, we're in.

All of the couples decided to go. They loaded us in a bus and drove us up to the studio where a big long line was waiting to get in. It's free to see, but you have to stand in line and hope they don't run out of room before they get to you.

The guide gets us off the bus, waves a badge at someone and walks us into the studio saying, "Tape and Hold Section". Whatever that means. The crowd standing outside wasn't happy as we could hear an audible groan. Hey, whaddya groaning about? We're VIP, We're Tape and Hold Section. Couldn't they see how important we were?

We found out what the Tape and Hold Section was. It was literally masking tape over the seat arms, held in the front of the studio. One rip of the masking tape and we got front row seats. SWEET!

Jay was funny, Randy was great. Fresh Prince had just started and Will Smith was just becoming well known and was also a guest. Again, very funny. We had a great time.

By the time we get back to the hotel, Bob is really not feeling good. We found a drug store and he got something for a cold, don't remember what it was, probably Sudafed. Back in the room, without reading the package, he pops two of the tablets. His body isn't used to medication, he avoids most pills at all cost, so I was especially worried when he turned over the package and said that the prescribed dose was ONE tablet.

Great, I now have a medicinal-lightweight sick husband who hadn't eaten all day, double-dosed.

There was a restaurant just a short uphill walk from the hotel. I told him that we needed to go eat. He hesitated, said he just wanted to rest at the hotel for a few minutes. All I can think about is getting something in his stomach to counteract the medicine.

Thirty minutes later I finally convinced him to go to the restaurant. By then the pills are kicking in and he was a little goofy. Well I mean goofier than he normally is.

It was a nice place, nothing fancy, if I remember right, it was a BBQ place. And it was early yet for dinner, 6 or so. The place wasn't crowded. They bring us the menus and begin to tell us about the specials.

It's obvious by now, that Bob is really out of it. He tells the waitress what he wants and then she asks him the hardest question ever.

"Would you like baked beans with that?"

Bob's glazed eyes looked at me and then he says, "Baked beans? What are baked beans?"

I know my mouth dropped open. The waitress looked at him like he was mentally unstable.

Then he said, "Oh yeah, I remember baked beans."

Well, Thank God for that.