From the first minute I walk in the door he begins to mock me. No one else seems to notice, at least not like I do. Although there is no expression, I can tell from the minute I round the corner that he will delight in another day of torture.
Literally from the moment I sit down until the last second where I run for the elevator at the end of the day he relishes in the pain he delivers. Every position I take in those godless hours, he jabs me another blow. Sometimes I spend the day taking stand after stand just to avoid the torture I get if I only sit back and attempt to be passive. Passivity is not in my nature, but I try. Honestly, I try.
In my mind I dream all day long about picking him up and slamming him through the 5th floor window. Would that give me some satisfaction? Maybe, probably.
I could be the forgiving type if he would just leave me the hell alone, but day after day, hour after hour he is there, waiting for me. One wrong move, and I seem to be making a lot of them and he punishes me for hours on end.
I've worked with the evil before, but this is different. This time I have no power. I can only sit back and let him torture me. There is no escape except for my flight at the end of the work day. I can only pray that this vile, torturous creature will not follow me to my next job as he did with my last one.
In most cases I would never think of publishing such things that might label me someone that complains about their work environment to this extent. But I have decided to fight back...the only way I can. Through this post.
I have made the decision. I will post his vile image here and I will revel if suddenly it goes viral and the entire world will associate his picture among the other evil forces this world possesses.
I hope you don't think lesser of me for doing what I would normally never do. I know his picture will not reflect how truly evil he is, but trust me on this one. I hate him. HATE him.
Here, for all the world to see is the most torturous monstrosity ever created.
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20 comments:
The Horror!!!!
If you were rear-ended by an F-150, you'd know WHY that SOB chair needs burn in eternal hell.
Ghastly. I will have nightmares for days.
You both would run off crying like little girls if you knew how mean I was after sitting in this...&*^%*&%*%ing chair for 15 minutes. Believe me boys, it's not a pretty site.
Yippee. let's have a girl vs boys fight on here. I love a good debate, just ask Westsound Modern when he posted about how his wife complains when he leaves the seat up.
Now THAT was fun. Of course I won, I ALWAYS win.
It pisses me off when a woman leaves the seat down!
I see all you boys need to be smacked around. Good. Gives me an outlet instead of beating up on a mindless chair.
I was rear-ended last year. Posted about it. Had to have a new bed put on my truck.
I suggest you duck when I throw that chair cause I may just send it all the way up toward you Yoopers.
And I see that none of you men appreciated the incredible creativity in my story either. You guys are probably just like every other man, you can't seem to concentrate enough to study the fine intricate points a woman is trying to convey.
AND there is a REASON I called it a "HE". It has to do with giving me a pain in my backside.
MEN. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
I'm just so SO glad you're not talking about your boss that, by the time I saw the picture, I was relieved! And, believe me, I know a bad chair makes a very bad day!
CHANGE THE CHAIR! :-)
I thought this was VERY clever, by the way! !!
Why thank you Z, it's obvious YOU can discern a great post when these men can't quite grasp it.
Of course I would never reveal anything about work about a person, and believe me, I've worked with some real people that weren't much better.
And I can't change chairs, I'm a consultant. It's not like I can walk into a client's office and start demanding special chairs. Only two more days in that hateful thing though.
I don't relish looking for another client, but I WILL be glad to be rid of the SOB chair.
This may sound funny but I had a tiff with my boss about which chair I use in my office. When I do my job I like a modest type of chair identical to the ones the people sit in across my desk.
I got a long winded lecture about the authority of the big imperial throne type chair and image.
I didn't win that one so you have company.
Rita take a chill pill hon...
I was thinking something on the order of a big ugly spider or Palmetto bug (aka Giant Cockroach, according to my wife). But seriously, uncomfortable chairs suck. Particularly if you have to sit in them all day.
Anon. Chill pill won't stop the pain. Allergic to muscle relaxers so it's comes down to drowning myself in pain killers so I can make a living.
DD: The first time I came across a Palmetto was in a basket of bread in a restaurant on Sanibel Island. Someone at the table (might have been me, can't remember) smacked it so hard the whole bread basket went flying across the room with bread flying everywhere.
Quite entertaining now, wasn't too funny at the time. Those things are just NASTY.
tha BAS-TAHD!
I have my own kneeling chair that has gone with me to every job for the last 15 years. I've never had one boss complain about it.
When you spend a third of your life sitting, no one should be tortured for it. Cruel and unusual! There's a way outta your torment m'dear, find it fast!
I’ve been outted. By the ergonomics police.
I didn’t realize that my most divisive post would be because I’m too stupid to figure out how to adjust the Satan chair because hundreds of thousands of ergo-ists worked on that chair and I have maligned them by my post.
I’m sure they tested the God-like chair on everyone that has been injured in a rear-end collision so I had NO RIGHT to slander the wonder-chair.
No, not you guys (pointing above). Those other guys that found my site from somewhere else and who took great exception to me being a chair-hater.
I'm all about chair-hating, dontcha know?
Chill Pill Anon. That would be you, hon. Go find a job.
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