Standing Alone

Lately it seems that I am the only one to be speaking the obvious at my most recent client. I'm again at an organization that is actually treating me like I'm an employee rather than a temp. There are benefits to that as well as some downside.

I don't believe in blowing smoke. If an executive asks my opinion, I give it. More often than not I have found that I am the only one in the room stating the obvious. The rest waits until they see which way the wind blows and then moves in that direction. I'll admit it's an uncomfortable position, but it is not one that I will abandon.

Since I've been with this client for close to a year, you would think by now they would have accepted that I am not a Yes Man. I find it interesting that the executire that made the decision to hire me on is the one most likely to challenge my position yet also the one most likely to absolutely agree with my assessment. It's as if he is challenging his own thoughts.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

For some inexplicable reason tonight I suddenly recalled one of the first times I remember being the only one in the room taking a position where the leader wanted one outcome and everyone just went along.

When I was 13 or so, one of the more popular girls decided she would invite several of us to her church. For the life of me I cannot remember who she was nor any of the other girls that were there. It seems that there were about seven of us.

After church they had some youth meeting in the basement where some youth leader was giving us all a lecture. I recall the guy was giving lectures on the evils of smoking. From the time I was around four and my Aunt Rita had decided to let me have a puff of her cigarette, I have never touched one again. And to this day, that is the only one I ever touched. If you want to teach your kids never to smoke, let them have a puff when they are 4 or 5 and I guarantee you they will never touch one again.

This church leader then wanted all of the girls in the room to pledge they would never touch a cigarette. I distinctly remember I was sitting among the "cool kids", those girls that barely spoke to me at all and the same girls that were well known for finding places to smoke at school.

I suppose the church youth leader thought exerting some peer pressure would get the thirty young girls in front of him to never smoke again.

I wasn't buying it.

I knew that I had no desire to ever smoke, I knew the cool girls next to me would be at it again as soon as they had another chance to prove they were cool and I knew what he was asking everyone in the room to pledge was nothing but a bunch of bull.

He asked all the girls in the room to raise their hands to pledge they would never smoke a cigarette.

Every hand in the room went up, except for one.

I felt awkward, but I also felt a mixture of defiance and honesty and power. With that one act of leaving my hand down when everyone around me was lying, I felt like I was making a decision about my life.

Not about smoking. I was fairly certain I would never touch a cigarette, they seemed as disgusting to me then as they do now.

I felt like I was making a decision that I would not follow the crowd. Whether it be jumping over the cliff or smoking because it was cool or raising your hand to lie in a church.

Not everyone appreciates it when you are the only one in the room saying the Emperor has no clothes.

That's okay with me. I will not be a Yes Man.