For you men, a seam ripper is exactly what it sounds like. If you inadvertently sew the seam of the fabric incorrectly, you use the seam ripper to take out the stitches. It's among the required tools of a Home Ec class along with scissors and a tape measure.
As you can imagine, there's not a great deal of technology involved in a seam ripper. Not that the word, "technology" even existed in our vocabulary back then. Thus all seam rippers were identical in the class.
Just after Sue reported her loss, she walked past my table and said, "MY seam ripper looked just like THAT."
If I hadn't been a kid I might have said, "No shit, Sherlock". Everyone's seam ripper looked just "like that".
But I was a quiet kid back then. I know. It's hard to imagine now. Personally, this is one area I do thank my brother Mark (aka CnC) for helping me to develop. I'm sure this was not his intention though.
So I explained to Sue this was my seam ripper. She glared at me, knowing that I had stolen her 99 cent seam ripper while failing to notice the other 20 girls in the class also had HER seam ripper.
But throughout the semester there seemed to actually be a lot of missing items. Not just Sue's but other people's things also. Of course I would get the evil eye from Sue every time something came up missing.
One day I was pinning the pattern to my fabric when someone could not locate their scissors.
With that announcement, Sue walked right over to my table, threw back the fabric and I'll be damned if those missing scissors weren't right there under my fabric. I could feel my face turning beet red as if I had really tried to steal someone's scissors.
I suppose this is how some innocent people end up on death row.
I saw Sue's name on someone's Facebook friend list yesterday. Luckily, I am incognito on Facebook but I knew that to this day she probably still believes I was the Home Ec thief. Thank goodness the statute of limitations should have expired by now.
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| Caution: DO NOT Google images of a woman in handcuffs on a work computer. |
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19 comments:
I had a similar experience of being wrongly accused once in 6th grade. In my case it was a calculator, and Steve M insisted that I had stolen his - from that day on, every time anything went missing, I was always the prime suspect. Very frustrating when you're guilty until proven innocent.
PS. Now I have to google women in handcuffs, just to see what comes up...
Jeff: Do they even have Home Ec or Shop classes now?
And unlike you (making assumptions from some of your past here) and my brother CnC, I was the "good kid" in class, so the teacher would never have assumed I was guilty. Only Sue thought I was.
It's funny, I cannot see her name without thinking of that story, but I wonder if she would still remember it if she saw mine.
p.s. For God's sake man, don't do the google at YOUR work, you'd be in the news in no time. j/k.
Rita: Speaking of theft, Jay Sekulow just used your pork analogy on Hannity!
What????? I'd sue him except I'm not sure who he is. I'll google him. But not at the same time I google women in handcuffs.
Btw, did you catch the word of the guy who had a website that replicated every single Greg Gutfeld article on Red Eye? I don't think hardly anyone read his blog, but someone tipped off Gutfeld and he outed the guy on The Five. It was hilarious. Within a couple hours the guy's blog was blank.
ACLJ.org
No, I didn't.
Sincerest form of flattery?
You know Sue the Bitch planted those scissors under your pattern, right?
You know Joe, that thought had never crossed my mind before now. Now I'm wondering if she wanted the teacher to suspect me so I would give up her precious seam ripper. Hmmmmmm.
I thought it was obvious.
Dang it. I hate it when men seem to be more intuitive than I am.
I would have vouched for you, but I always suspected you stole my sparklety paints !
Oh, THAT has to be our next He Said, She Said. Things I didn't get to play with because you guys were so much older than I was.
And guess what? You're STILL so much older than I am.
Amazing how little sisters may get abused when they're young, but they are rewarded for years afterward.
What's that saying? You reap what you sow?
And the ONLY thing I ever "stole" was Michael's Smith Brother's Cough Drops when I was four. After mom let me have it for lying and stealing, I decided I would leave the life of crime for you.
I was never accused of anything (I perfected that 'innocent look' very early on...not that I took anything. Except in first grade, when I stole a marker and hid it in my underwear. Freud would have fun with that one...)
But I do *hate* Cindy Jolly, where ever she is. She could do the pinch/twist torture when you stood in front of her in line at school and she never, ever got caught. I was too shy to say anything. That bully.
I'd put your Cindy in the same class as Bonnie, who put gum in my hair in choir.
The difference was that Sue wasn't one of those mean girls. Maybe that's why it always bothered me that she thought I was a thief. There was no mistaking that she always gave me that "knowing" look from junior high on.
In first grade I was accused of throwing rocks at the boys and had to write the Act of Contrition out about 10 times: "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended. . ."
I still don't remember doing it, but that's just how strong the mental defenses of the youngest of eight kids can be. But, the boys probably deserved it.
Guilt has no statute of limitations and I know the results of being held accountable for things I never did...but I was always the one who LOOKED guilty.
I feel more guilt for things I've never done than the real person responsible. If I was given a lie detector test, and asked if I shot JFK, the needle would probably swing off the paper.
Well, it's been over a week since you posted. I'm hoping they didn't come to arrest you.
Lol. Dang Jess, I have to say I'm glad you missed me.
Let me see if I can find a post for you.
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