Spirit of Christmas

Bah Humbug.

Christmas was always magical to me.  We didn't have a lot growing up, but Mom always made sure we had wonderful Christmases.  Christmas started earlier and earlier each year because when my parents were done "finding" all the presents from Santa, they would wake us up, even in the middle of the night. 

Christmas "mornings" remind me of the many mornings of being awaken at 2 or 3 in the morning and my parents leading us to all of the presents Santa had managed to save up for most of the year.  One whiff of coffee brewing brings me right back to that morning when I received a "real" china play set.  I asked mom to put some water in the tea pot and she returned the tiny china to me with REAL coffee.  My brothers wheeled up to my diner in their new Radio Flyer wagon. 

Sadly the kids nowdays will never remember the smell of a new transistor radio.  I should bottle that and sell it as perfume, I would make a fortune.

Thank you Mom for making Christmas so special.

I miss those days.  I loved Christmastime even after I grew up.  Twenty years ago I would decorate for days.  I put up a live Christmas trees even when I lived alone.

Eighteen years ago last May, I was again newly married.  In June my dad retired.  In August he was diagnosed with liver cancer. 

His last Christmas was also his last birthday.  He turned 60 on December 25, 1991.  He died just barely a month after that. 

From that time until now, Christmas has been hard.  Too much sadness and too much drama.  Bob suffers his own Christmas nightmares,  mine are more recent. 

But by Christmas Eve, all that changes.  My family has been been celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve since we grew up enough to realize Santa had already visited.  

Last week I found online a song that described my feelings about Christmas now.   I found it here.


This precious girl who has an amazing voice now has a family who loves her after losing both of her parents.  Her courage and strength amazes me.  

I was hoping to embed her version within this post, but found that I couldn't.  So I've embedded below the original song.  It doesn't compare to Katie's version or her strength.  God Bless this child.  If she can look for hope at Christmas, surely the rest of us can also.




"Where Are You Christmas"
Words and music by James Horner
Copyright © 2000

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love
In your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love


SOOOO, wait.   I just got this letter posted on my family web from my new niece who will legally be my niece on Wednesday morning...

The marked out words said "but if I end up with another family, I'll never forget you.  But I know that will never happen."  

God Heals All Wounds.  Never Forget It.

Dad, you would have loved your new great grandbaby girls.