Of course it didn't come as a surprise. He's been hinting subtly and not so subtly for at least three years. It was obvious his feelings were changing, but I chose to stick my head in the sand and not address the real possibility that he would leave me.
He was no longer happy in his job and I knew that would eventually affect our relationship. He was having personal family issues and I knew those were also tearing him away.
But I couldn't let myself imagine my life without him.
Our relationship began thirty years ago. Looking back now, I realize we were both kids.
I think back in the ways that he changed my life, and in some cases literally saved it. In fact he was the deciding factor in my decision on dissolving my first marriage. That wasn't his intention, of course, but his advice at a critical time in my life, changed it completely.
He was there for me then. He was there for me in my worst times of my life. He has known nearly ever aspect of my life.
I saw him for what is likely the last time ever yesterday. As I was driving away, I noted the dreary looking day matched my heartbreak over losing one of what I feel like has been one my best friends, someone I could always count on. I wished him the best and insisted on a goodbye hug.
I doubt I can ever replace him. Sure, there will be someone new eventually. But right now I doubt I can ever replace the relationship that has been torn away. But I'll go on. I have to.
We talked about his wife's condition. She was also a family doc and had to quit a couple years ago because of early onset Alzheimer's. We talked about the disaster of Obamacare. He made his political preferences known to me years ago. He was a conservative Christian.
He was more than just my family doctor. He was my friend. Never to be replaced. 
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16 comments:
Sad stuff.
Yeah. Especially since they wanted to travel a lot and she just can't now. Now I worry about him. 60 years old and knowing the next few years will only hold a lot of hard work and sadness over losing his companion. Damned Alzeimers.
He does have a sad future and I hope he is up to it and can handle it the way he helped you. I can only suggest the impossible. Don't compare a new doctor to him. He will never measure up and you will never be happy. Good luck to you, too.
Sadly, this heartbreaking scene is going to be repeated countless times over as doctors, unable to keep up with the trainwreck that healthcare has become, simply retire or walk away from their practice.
He was lucky enough to have made it as a doctor throughout his life. They're jumping ship at an alarming rate down here. Good luck on finding one that sees you as a person. Haven't found one since I lost my Indiana "family" docs. Alzheimers....I never thought I'd become one of the paranoid, but I joined the "is this normal?" club a few days ago.
We are hearing a lot of the docs quiting now, Dave. . I just hate not being able to rely on him. After decades of treatment, he knew me well enough to not to have to consult the medical records. He knew if I was in there, I was sick.
Dana. From everything I have heard so far, the symptoms are not subtle. Keep well my dear.
You had me going there. Well written.
Thanks Fredd. Glad you stopped by.
My doctor is quitting this month too. The older ones are sick of the burden of ObanmaCare and do nmot need the hassle.
Well, there is is. My doc is younger and not sure he'll survive obammycare economically. Probably won't in fact.
Best wishes to your friends Rita.
My doc recommended NOT going with a young doc. Said they would want to start changing my medications that I've been taking for years (effectively). I ended up going with another doc in his office because he said I would mainly see the Nurse Practitioner anyway.
Rita, Well my doc is mid to late 40's, which to me is younger :)
There are more reasons not to go with young doctors too.
Mine told me he was required to put in 5800 hours before going solo. He said doctors today and for 10+ years are only putting in 5,000 hours. That's not good. He explained how talent comes from experience, just like anything else - driving a car, flying a plane. That's pretty obvious.
So, it is now so much more important to vet any new doctors.
Fwiw. Hope all is well there.
Oops. Sorry - he put in 8,500 yours and now it's 5000 hours. 3,500 hours is a big difference.
Can someone teach me to type?
Good luck getting a new doc. It's hard to find one around here that will even accept new patients.
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