STOP

It was around the time of Columbine when we noticed the neighbor's teenage son began wearing the goth attire. When he and his friends would hang out in the driveway sporting their long black coats and dark pants, I wondered how one could see their sons expressing themselves by donning the same clothing of Klebold and Harris and not take some type of action.

I remember being especially freaked out one day when I came home to find that the boy and three of his friends were sitting on top of their garage roof. Now obviously I might have been a little too sensitive because of the recent events. And in fact, the boy never caused a bit of trouble in the neighborhood.

Within a few months, the goth fad had faded and nothing horrible happened at the local school.

By the time the boy had graduated, he had turned into a very polite young man who then joined the service.

It was a stark contrast to see the young man come home on leave in his distinguished uniform. I vowed not to be so judgmental when kids go through phases although truthfully I probably haven't changed enough.

Since we live "in the country" according to some, we do not regularly visit with our neighbors, mainly seeing them as they mow their lawns or wave as we pass them going to the mailbox and exchanging Christmas cards once a year.

It wasn't long before we heard that the boy was going to be deployed to Iraq. I remember seeing him in the backyard shortly before his deployment playing with their dog. He was no longer a boy, of course, instead he was a fit young man and I wondered what he might face in his future.

After Iraq, he was deployed to Afghanistan. There had been some neighborhood rumors that he was given some top secret assignments possibly involving assassinations but I still don't know how true those rumors were.

In the last few years, he had come home and began his life outside of military life. Other than a few brief times of seeing him and his girlfriend coming or going to his parents house next door, we knew very little of what his life has become.

A few short weeks ago, Bob noticed him taking out an infant carrier from his car when he and his girlfriend would visit his parents.

And while I fully admit we actually knew very little about his life, we were still shocked when Bob got a text from one of the other neighbors the other night that said that Jeremy had taken his own life.

Suicide is just so heartbreaking. It leaves such and ache that screams, "WHY?"

We cannot imagine what our neighbors are going through. I don't even want to imagine what they are going through.

You want to be able to ease their pain, to make it all go away for people that we really barely know. Of course we can't. About an hour ago, we carted over some food in hopes to make some small dent in their misery. It's impossible of course. Looking into the father's eyes as he thanked us for the food was like looking into the depths of hell, where nightmares seep out of your dreams and attack your very soul.

We came home and wept for their pain, knowing it will never go away for them. I wish people who were contemplating suicide could look at the eyes of their loved ones before they make that choice that can never go away.